Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Blessed Event

My Dearest Kendrah,

First off, I am NOT pregnant. Do you hear that Gladdders?! Not pregnant! Aragorn needs an heir, I need a ring on my finger, that's the way that goes. Maybe you should start harrassing HIM about a princeling, Little Miss Queen of the Golden Wood!

Whew! Sorry about that. Looks like I just unrepressed a bit of here-to-fore repressed anger!

Anyway, the blessed event to which I refer is the reconciliation between PJ and New Line that will allow the Hobbit movie to happen! I meant write sooner, but the paparazzi have begun pursuing us with renewed vigor, this time looking for our reactions to the news. Even poor Eowyn got swarmed by the pap menace. (fortunately we were able to settle the assault charges out of court. Never sneak up on a Shield Maiden of Rohan!) The King, Faramir and I have been busy dealing with the legalities of thing. Mayor Sam will of course need to be involved, especially if they want to do any on location filming. And the Dwarves! I shudder think what those contract negotiations will entail!

Rumor has it Orlando may be approached for a cameo, so Leggs should be prepared with a statement, just in case. Gandalf is fussing that he wants Sir Ian back and is threatening to withold permission to use his name and image if McKellan does not reprise his role. I hate it when wizards's the "quick to anger" bit that always makes me tense when meddling in Maiar affairs. The King is quite pleased with the decision to make the film, and likes to think his intervention had something to do with it. He plans to pop over for a visit with PJ and New Line to aid in the selection of a director (whether they want his input or not!)

Otherwise, all is well. Yule (here and in the White City) and Christmas have all gone off with out a hitch. The king and I are looking forward to your upcoming visit with great anticipation.

I hope all is well with you and that the Sons received all they wanted from Santa, or Father Christmas, or Yule father or whatever we're calling him these days.

See you soon.
Your Affectionate friend,

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Decorating and Babies

My Dearest Corwynne,

It seems that, I too, have been remiss in my correspondence. I have nothing like you excuses. Simple laziness is all I have to blame it on.

I am glad to hear that your time with the Elves was restful (mostly) and overjoyed that it has not yet become permanent. I am sorry that you had such trouble with the press. I saw some of their renderings and I do not think they did you justice. Of course, the one of Gladders leaving the restroom in the middle of the night is priceless. We framed our copy and it is above the mantle in our settlement house.

Speaking of the settlement, it has been a very long time since I updated you on the construction around here. The home that Leggs and I share is complete. We even added a room for the sons in case they ever manage the intricacies of reality jumping. It is quite cozy and I enjoy my time there very much. The settlement as a whole is also pretty much complete. I say pretty much because it was finished until Leggs jumped back to the settlement after watching HGTV at my house.

So now it is the decoration phase of the construction. And I have to say it is getting a bit strange. The current plan for our meeting hall is to make it look like an opium den. Words cannot express my disappointment at this. Oh well, elves will be elves and you know how they love the drama.

Leggs and I greatly enjoyed you Samhain party. It was so nice to see everyone again. I thought it was very amusing that people have thought that I could see the King in this reality. When Rhyannon arrived and asked if he was there and I had to ask you, she seemed to be even more confused by this than most people are about the whole reality jumping thing in the first place. Either way it was nice to have her there, except....well, Leggs is completely in love with her daughter, the benevolent dictator. He wants us to have a baby. Luckily, when I expressed consern that while pregnant the baby would only be with me in one reality or the other and how we did not know what effect this might have on a fetus he agreed that it probably isn't a good idea.

I kept having flashes of a womb hanging in mid air with a baby inside...just floating around the settlement. Highly amusing and very unsettling at the same time!

I believe that is all I have to report. Things are quite uneventful around here and in the settlement. I hope that with your shows driving you crazy that things in the White City are peaceful.

Your affectionate friend,

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Spin City

My Dearest Kendrah,

Pleas forgive my lack of correspondence. Faramir and I have had our hands full dealing with the media fall-out from Elf-Fest and I've barely had time to focus on Reality at all in the past few weeks. (Which is a HUGE pain because I had to host the Samhain party, have a show opening at work and have to go to North Carolina to visit my brother for Thanksgiving!)

So let's begin at the beginning. The trip to Lothlorien was rather uneventful and actually quite pleasant. Viggo and the king kept each other entertained so I could focus on riding, and most importantly, not falling on my ample butt in front of Gondorian nobility.

We arrived at Lothlorien at twilight (I swear Galdders used some of that Elven sorcery. It seemed to be twilight far more often than is natural during our stay. I think she arranges it that way so we can all admire the beauty of last rays of the setting sun highlight her famously golden tresses.

The first few days weren't too bad. Viggo fit right in and he, the King and the Sons spent a lot of quality time together. Gladders spent a lot of time on official schmoozing, and I wasn't worth the effort. I was worried about meals, but SOMEHOW I always ended up at the Low end of the table. Gladders fluttered her eyelashes and promised to speak to her steward about the order of precedence and the king got all enamoured of the fluttering eyelashes and asked me to be gracious so as not to cause a scene, so I held my peace and actually rather enjoyed not having to be all polite with the big-wigs.

All of this would have been fine if it weren't for the paparazzi. Apparently, some rag newspaper in the White City sent spies after us. It's much harder to detect the paps in Middle Earth due to the lack of flashbulbs. Mostly they just sneak around, hide behind bushes and sketch frantically with pen and ink on parchment. So you don't know they've caught you, say, flashing an ankle to the steward to get a better seat at dinner, or passed out drunk on a tree root with Celeborn, or arguing with the King about how much time he's spending with Gladders or mysterious" until after the picture is printed. (I still haven't figured out when they invented the printing press!)

In any case, this caused quite a stir! Eowyn and Faramir were sending desperate messages daily reporting the latest reported scandal. Of course, papers fell into the hands of the Elves and we had to put up with their smug sniggering. There was even a picture featuring Aragorn and Viggo side by side. wondering which of them was the real king!

Then the news came about poor Thranduil's "accident". The papers had a field day with conspiracy theories! My favorite was that Gondor was secretly involved in the incident and plotting to put Leggs on the throne so we could have Mirkwood under our control. (and making some rather inappropriate speculations as the nature of the relationship between Leggs and the King!) Naturally, this did not go over too well with any of the Elves! Poor Celeborn! He tried to stand up for us, but Gladders just glared him down! Fortunately the Ons were able to calm everyone for the moment, but rumours spread like wildfire and we're still dealing with the diplomatic fall-out from Mirkwood, Lothlorien, Imladris, Edoras (apparently some of the Rohirrim suspect that we were trying to control Mirkwood so that we would be in a better position to control their trade routes, or something...) Anyway...the Elves thing it is a Man plot and the Men think it is an Elvish plot. We're getting it straightened out, I thing, but I think the papers are deliberately stirring the pot o' trouble. Perhaps this whole free press thing is over-rated.

Well, I have a Dwarf delegation waiting. Who knows what plots they've imagined in all of this. Hope all is well with you. It was lovely seeing you at Samhain, a brief reality respite from the troubles at home.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Tripping through Reality

My Dearest Corwynne,

I have safely returned from my trip to The Big Apple. I feel a wee bit awful about this but I was very pleased when Leggs was unable to join me. I don't know if word has reached you yet but Leggs' father, Thranduil, had a bit of an accident last Thursday. Apparently, he was holding forth on how his ungrateful son has been shacked up for years with that lowly human, of all things and while doing so he was know how he gets. He was in full tirade and therefore not paying attention to his surroundings, and you know those giant spiders in Mirkwood? Well there is a guild of Elves whose job it is to make sure all the walkways are clear of their webs, but somebody missed a spot. Thranduil got all tangled up and his continued ranting and thrashing drew the attention of one of these spiders. The ensuing battle left the spider dead and Thranduil with a broken hip.

The riders were sent to the settlement to fetch the ungrateful son to his father's side. He is still there, still hopeful that the idea of a retirement home in the West will eventually appeal to the old elf. I think it unlikely, but here's hopin'.

I went ahead with my trip, since my pressence in Mirkwood would have ended in one human joining the spider and Thranduil having two broken hips. I had a wonderful time. It was very nice to not have to worry how Leggs would react spending an entire weekend with the Loud One. But it would have been nice to have him with me for the plane trips, especially the one to NYC....dear lord it was a long delay. But in the end it was all worth it.

So, like I said I am back and I expect Leggs back in time for Samhain, but I forgot to add him to the RSVP, so please add him.

How were things at the Great Elf Extravaganza 2007?

Your affectionate friend,

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Worlds Colliding and Other News

My Dearest Kendrah,

I just wanted to dash off a short note before we leave (at Twilight, of course!!!) for the Elf-Fest 2007 (or whatever).

On the plus side, Viggo dropped by for a quick birthday drink and Aragorn convinced him to come along to Lothlorien with us. I can think of lots of other things to do on my birthday other than paying a visit to the Lothlorien, but Viggo seems really excited about it. I can tell he and Aragorn are itching to get into another poetry slam! I'm sure they'll have a blast! (and maybe Gladders will be so distracted by 21st century Man Poetry that Celeborn and I can slip off to enjoy our scotch and lamenting earlier than I had hoped!)

We got a Rider from Rohan today and it turned out to be Eomer. He's very concerned by reports that Karl Urban will be playing Dr. "Bones" McCoy in the upcoming Star Trek movie. He's not even sure what a movie IS, but he thinks "Bones " has an ominous ring to it. (But then again, what doesn't sound ominous to the Rohirrim?) I assured him that it had nothing whatever to do with the Paths of the Dead, and that I would be happy to show him re-runs when I return. He's not sure what a re-run is either, but he seemed comforted. We were unable to convince him to join our little party in the Golden Woods. He made up some excuse about over-seeing the fodder harvest for Winter and rode off muttering some charm to protect him from the Elf Witch. He's still so superstitious!

In other news that rocks our worlds, it seems Dumbledore is gay. JK announced at some reading or something. No word from Dumbleodre yet about he feels upon being outed. I hope he's ok with it. You know how cranky wizards can get when things don't go the way they planned. Mithrandir seems completely unsurprised by the revelation and, in fact, is looking more smug than usual and humming merry tunes under his breath. I wonder if he's been spending time with Sir Ian again?

Well, I hear a horn sounding, so that means the forces are gathering and I must get to my horse! I must say I look smashing in my new black and silver riding habit! I hope you are enjoying your weekend with the Loud One and I look forward to hearing about your adventures (If I make it back alive:-)

Your Affectionate Friend,

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Woman's Problems

My Dearest Corwynne,

It has been a long time since I was so amused by something that I read that I snorted food out of my nose, but the visual of the King trying to deal with what he thinks of as woman's problems did the trick. I am glad that you got as much enjoyment out of the kinslaying bitch's letter as I did. The war for the ring has been over for three years by reality's reckoning and she had to give up her ring of power, so I ask you, just who does she think she is.
I know who she is....she's the one that held on to that ring with all her might until she had no choice but to give it up. She's the one who stood around doing nothing to stop the kinslaying. And I know that Frodo swears she turned down his offer of the One Ring immediately, but Leggs said he saw the event and she got all green and glowy and really really wanted that ring....and then claimed she was going into the West. Go already! Claiming she had forgotten a valuable family heirloom while the boat took the others away....I'm just not buying what she's selling.
Anyway, I am sorry there was no way to get you out of "Elf-Fest 2007". I guess the life of a queen, present or future is never easy. But I am so glad that the King is enjoying his time with Buford. I wonder if they ever run into Robinson while they are out and about.
I hope all went well with the mathing. I know how you dislike it. All is well here. Leggs is still not looking forward to the upcoming trip, but that is to be expected.
Best to the King,
Your affectionate friend,

Friday, October 05, 2007

Oh Dear!

My Dearest Kendrah,

Officially, I am shocked and appalled by your disparaging remarks concerning the Lady of the Galadhrim. It ill befits a lady of your breeding and position.

Unofficially, I giggle uncontrollably every time I think of it! The king thinks I'm having a "woman's problem" because of my unexpected and often inappropriate fits of mirth. At least he's being VERY nice to me. I guess he's afraid the mirth will fade and the violent outbreaks will begin. I need him to stop watching Lifetime! I know I will not be able to make eye contact with Gladders without wetting myself! I try not to make eye contact anyway. It's harder for her to read your mind if you don't look directly at her and those creepy, starry pupils freak me out!

Poor Celeborn! Just a footnote in her Noldor-snobby letter. I hope that Legolas will see this as a reason to step up and defend your love! Most Grey Elves hate it when she gets all uppity and superior, and I assume he is no different.

To distract myself from the terror of the upcoming Elf-Fest, I've started planning the Samhain Party. Invitations have been issued, and I'm working on the menu. Not much else is going on. The king is helping me out with Buford as an excuse to avoid Faramir and the yearly harvest tax reports. (apparently Buford chased a squirrel while I was at work) There he goes again, my king enjoying himself with the pets while I slave away selling tickets to Chekhov!

Well, I should probably run some reports or something! Math is hard!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Monday, October 01, 2007


My Dearest Corwynne,

Please except my most sincere condolence on this your day of sorrow. OK, today isn't the day of sorrow, the day you got the invitation and the days you actually have to be there, get the idea. The nerve of that woman referring to the king and the future queen as "Elessar and Guest" All I can say is I am amazed that she can keep the nice line of her gowns with big manly balls like that!

I am happy to report that we seemed to have dodged the invitation bullet. But don't think that I didn't get some Gladders slights of my own. The day after you got your invite a rider came to the settlement. I was devestated thinking we would have to come up with a really good excuse. But it was not an invitation, it was, like this, a letter of condolence for Leggs. I snuck it into reality and made a photocopy so that you can enjoy what that kinslaying bitch has to say for yourself. Enjoy. It is enclosed.

In other news, Leggs is bucking up well under the pressure of the forthcoming trip to the city of the Loud One. He only mentions it 20 or 30 times a day with the sad eyes....yes this is an improvement. When he isn't writing his laments things seem pretty much like they were pre36. I think it will all be fine in the end.

I hope all is well in the White City and that you find many drinking companions during you trip.

Your affectionate friend,



To our beloved Prince of Mirkwood,
late of Mirkwood,
Currently of the Unnamed Settlement near Gondor,
renowned hero in the war for the ring,

Word of your recent hardships have reached our Elven ears in Lothlorien. We lament with you at the human behavior of she whom you have to attach yourself.

It is with hope in our hearts that we write to you to expess our concerns for your plight and our hopes for you human free future.

Know that a place for you will always be prepared in our wood.

We extend an invitation to you to the Autumn festival, but are certain you understand that your "lady" is not extended the same curtesy and therefore, in your time of lamenting we will, of course, understand if you are not in attendence.

May the blessing of the Valar be upon you,
Galadriel of the House of Finarfin
known in other times as
Lady of Lórien
Lady of the Wood
Lady of Light
White Lady
The Lady of the Galadhrim

and Celeborn son of Galadhon, Lord of Lórien

Thursday, September 20, 2007


My Dearest Kendrah,

I am so pleased Leggs is beginning to accept his role in our Primary World. The King has high hopes that with continued open communication and support of his friends, Leggs will continue to get a grip on our Reality.

And now for my bad news. We just received a formal invitation from Gladders inviting us to spend a week in Lothlorien to celebrate some obscure Elven autumn festival. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't the Elves frown on leaves turning gold and brown and falling from the trees?! Not that leaves in Lothlorien EVER fall, not when the freaky Elf-Witch secretly uses her Ring of Power to keep time standing almost still in her domain!

Of course we have to go, but I can't imagine it's going to be pleasant. I knew I was in trouble when the invitation came addressed to "Elessar and Guest"! Honestly, she's not very subtle! And the King is insisting we have to wear our royal colors the whole time, so it's black and silver for me for a week. Not that I mind the black, it is slimming after all, but we'll look pretty boring and severe next to all that flouncy white silk they tend to wear. The King says that by wearing coordinating outfits, we'll make a statement of solidarity and commitment to each other and to the Realm, but it feels a little Grr-animal to me. I supposes he's right. I will choose to look on it as a confirmation of my status rather than some weird possessiveness on his part. In any case, I'm getting a brand new wardrobe out of the deal.

The worst part will be sitting around doing needle work and listening to laments with Gladders and the girls while the boys go off hunting, apple-picking and whatever else they do at theses things. I will must make a vow to be polite, demure and sweet-as-pie. (I also plan to bring a bottle of good scotch in hopes that Celeborn and I can escape the protocol and drink away our sorrows!)

At least Elladon and Elrohir plan to attend as well and they are always fun. I hope they like scotch too! I need to get back work and start organizing my marketing plan. I hope to talk with you soon!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Once more with Drama

My Dearest Corwynne,

The King's counsel of Leggs seems to be working. Leggs has not been happy about it, but does now see that this is less threatening than when I was married. Things had been going along pretty well for several days. He wasn't his normal "happy" (for Leggs this means brooding) self. He was a bit more down than usual, but that is to be expected.

Then, well, there was a problem...He popped in while I was reserving my flight for October and saw that I was only reserving one ticket. He thought that he would come with me and we could hang out in the city whenever the Loud One was busy with something else. I think I narrowly escaped a hearth-like moment by explaining that he doesn't really need a ticket and that if I have any time where the Loud One is otherwise occupied he is more than welcome to pop on in and we can go see the Empire State Building or something. He seems optimistic.

So, as you can see, everything is on track for the trip in October. Let's just hope that Leggs can handle it as well as he is pretending he can.

Hope all is well in the White City, give my thanks to the King for all his help.
Your affectionate friend,

Monday, September 03, 2007


My Dearest Kendrah,

I am afraid my last missive was a bit too high-handed. I do like the Loud One, very much so. And I do appreciate the odd notion that some people prefer their boyfriends to be visible and corporeal.

My main concern was not your "relationship" with the Loud One, more with Leggs's delusions. That's why I sent the King to him. Aragorn has a much better grasp of 21st century human social dynamics, and my hope is that he will find a way to explain these things to Leggs in a way that he can understand.

While I fully support your rights to a flesh and blood boyfriend, I still have some responsibility for the Fate of the Worlds, so it's my duty to point out dangers as I see them. (Living with a Ranger has that effect on a person). It is the hope of King, myself, and a couple of old guys with beards and pointy hats, that Leggs can learn to appreciate you for who you are and that if chooses to commit to you, it comes with Real World strings attached.

I am certain that with the King's counsel and our support, you two will work things out. (And I sincerely hope it is before your visit to the Loud One in October! I don't if I can bear a return to the "Time of the Hearth")

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Wow is right.

My Dearest Corwynne,

I have to say that I found you last letter to be less than I expected from you. I understand the King's worries about holding these two worlds together, but I did expect you to be more understanding.

You know how the relationship between myself and Leggs came to pass, and that I find a long term relationship with a person that no one else can see a little less than fullfilling. And I thought you liked "the loud one".

I don't really see what all the fuss is about. I'm not going to marry him and I don't think that you can really label what is going on with us even what is the problem?

I guess that considering the situation that you found yourself in, with you affair with the Doctor, I thought you would be more understanding. At least my affair is with someone with qualities (ie. a physical presence) that Leggs doesn't have.

I will, of course, give what you have said some serious thought, but I can't garuntee anything.

Leggs is bucking up these days. We have spent entire minutes without him sulking, which believe me is a massive improvement.

I will let you know if anything changes.

Your affectionate friend,

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


My Dearest Kendrah,

I hardly know what to say! This insight into Legolas's Elven psyche has made me realize just how little he understands the swiftly-moving World of Men (especially the world that is Pennsic.) It's shocking how completely he believes in his fantasy world to the exclusion of Reality. It makes my throat hurt thinking how contrary his desires are to yours, and that in all the years of your relationship, these things were never discussed!

You two will have to work this out! It is your doom and destiny to be together and the King and I are convinced that if you choose to separate, there will be serious consequences in all our Worlds. And I can say with surety that the King will be highly displeased if we end up in another World altering event so soon after the destruction of Mordor. He's already compiling charts and graphs comparing recent events to the Fall of Gondolin and the Drowning of Numenor. He is not unconvinced that the recent crazy weather events are unrelated to the disruption in the "Force" caused by this unfortunate turn of events.

The King plans to ride to the settlement today and see if he can talk some sense into the Elf. In the mean time, I have been instructed to light candles, burn incense and pray for the blessings of Elbereth and Manwe on your relationship. Which seems really out of character for the King...he's usually less about Divine Intervention and more about hitting it with sword. And why am I the one stuck making offerings to these foreign gods? Remember what happened to Earendil when he went pleading to the Valar? (If I get turned into a star, or a planet or some other heavenly body, I'm blaming the you!)

Inter-racial relationships often present difficulties and the two of you are operating from very different reality check points. Even the King and I have had this sort of misunderstanding from time to time. It is my sincere hope that you and Legolas can become more sensitive to each others needs. I pray you can move from love of the dream and shadow of who you think the other is, and come to an appreciation of each other for what and who you are.

I must go burn that incense now. Please let me know as soon as possible what the outcome is and if there is anything the King and I can do to help. The Fate of our Worlds depends upon it.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Legg's Lament Part III

My Dearest Corwynne,

I know that you are on your way to Summerland, but I just finished transcribing the last of Leggs' Pennsic writings and want it off my hands as soon as possible. This is the longest bit. So take your time and let me know what you think I should do when you get back.

I hope you are having a lovely time and that the event is the only place in Ohio that isn't raining!

Your affectionate friend,

August 4, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
Success. I am sure that it worked. Although watching her from the road during the competition, I am sure that look of annoyance on her face was just because she was required to remain until the end instead of finding me and accepting my proposal immediately. By this time tomorrow I will be well rested and with K, who I will then be able to call my bride. We may even beat the King and future Queen to the vows!

Imagine my shock when I went to K’s tent this morning only to find that Corwynne, who was caring for the sons, was asleep in her bed. I count my self blessed by the Valar that the King did not find me there, for I am certain that I would not have been given time to explain before I would have been more intimately introduced to the sword that was broken and has now been reforged! I got away quickly, however, and I must say that I am please to see that Kendrah’s desire to find me has now out lasted her desire to stay out late. She has always returned by this time in the morning, but while searching for me, she has not stopped, she will not rest until she finds me…..
I was incorrect, but it matters little. It does not matter that she did not stay out later in her search for me than she does for her parties. She is, although an extraordinary example, still only a human, and must have her sleep. It appears that she returned around 6:45 and rather than wake the future Queen and risk waking the sons, she slipped into Corwynne’s tent and slept there. Corwynne, ever the saint and the only human who would make an acceptable Queen of Gondor, allowed my love to sleep for several hours before handing back the child care responsibilities. She is a wonder and Gondor will be all the better for it.
1:45 pm
The sons have been returned to the care of their father. I continue to rest and draw strength from the trees…
August 5, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
9 am
Today is the day…I know it. I will go down to the camp and Kendrah will have finally relented to my pleas.
I entered her tent to find her not alone. My initial thought was that it was the loud one, then I saw it was Charmaine. For a moment I was still concerned. "Valar help me, first the loud one and now a woman!" Once I realized it was Charmaine I remembered that K had told me that if Charmaine’s husband decided not to come that she had invited Charmaine to share her tent with us. Charmaine was awake and taking care of her morning tasks, while Kendrah struggled to sleep. I feel a bit guilty, for I am sure it is not knowing where I am that is making it difficult for her to get the sleep that she needs so very much. Perhaps in the future she will make better use of her time so that she can withstand these hardships when they come.
I was about to return so that she and I could have our touching reuniting scene for all of her friends and family to witness, when it started to rain. I feel no discomfort from the rain, or the snow, or any weather for that matter….but I decided it was better to wait. A love such as ours deserves better than some cheesy rain scene like in one of those movies I have seen in the palantir box. So I will wait.
I traveled down to the camp in search of Kendrah today. Apparently I underestimated her need to find me, for I discovered that shortly after she awoke this morning she left camp and she had not returned for many hours. Charmaine and the future Queen joked about the idea that she may have gone over to the camp of the Loud One for a nap, but I know better….she was searching for me. I was unable to resist the call of the trees while waiting for her and left. When I returned from a lovely conversation with an Oak I had not met before she had returned looking very well rested…the search for me must be invigorating. But she was sitting down to dinner, so I have decided to wait until tomorrow. It will be the perfect time for the vows that will bind the rest of her life, since it is the anniversary of her birth.
Despite being separated from me, she seems to be coping quiet well. This evening she left the camp again. Amazingly enough, she returned and stayed in camp for an extended period of time, to smoke a hookah with her friends. Yes, the loud one was there, but I know that she longs to be with me. Why else would any human ears be able to hear them bickering from miles away. "What do you want to argue about?" "Oh, I guess we will argue about what we always argue about….what ever you want to argue about!" I think that after all of this they won’t even be able to maintain a friendship. That is sad considering a life with out the light that is Kendrah is a dark one, but what can one do?
August 6, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
The most sacred of days, for it is the birthday of my love.
I have had a moment with my love today. I managed to catch her alone in her tent. She seemed happy to see me but it was far less than I expected. Perhaps I waited too long and some of the overwhelming love that I am sure the music competition instilled in her has waned a bit. It matters not, for she has agreed to spend a bit of this evening with me…without the Loud One.
August 7, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
Tonight did not go as expected. Kendrah was with the Loud One. They were at a party where she was not enjoying herself. The LO didn’t even notice….and on her birthday. So I suggested that we leave. To my shock, she agreed. We left together and I was certain, especially when she said Chalkman, that now was when she would make her vows. Instead, it was her suggested destination….
I am not sorry though. Kendrah and I spent several hours among her friends, of which not a one is romantically interested in her, There were toasts made to the birth that day of her friend’s baby, Chloe Jean. I will be sure to offer a song of praise to the Valar for her joyous entry into the world.
Kendrah has many friends from varying stations in life. She is not at all biased in one direction or another. She is friends with barkeeps, vikings, bellydancers and barbarians. And they all seem to have genuine affection for her. She laughed and joked with them for hours and I delighted in watching it.
Sadly, many of these friends do not seem to have her best interests at heart. It seems that they are not used to seeing her without the LO. They were concerned that they weren’t together. I was aghast to find her saying that they were meeting up later, but that she thought it best if she came to the Chalkman to do her thing and left him at the party to do his.
To steal a line from the Bard…"I was not angry since I came to Pennsic. Until this instant."
I left the Pub, left her there to escort herself back to him. I may return to the settlement in the morning. But tonight I will sleep in the trees.
August 8, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
I was prepared to leave. I had every intention of going to Silver Phoenix and telling her that I was going to the settlement and she could find me when she was ready to make amends. But then the rains came. It has been raining heavily, on and off, for several days. The amount of mud that these humans have been trodding through makes me worry for my clothing. But today, the most beloved belly kitchen flooded. The children played in the massive puddle that appeared and then disappeared when Kendrah’s father dug Eelditch. The future Queen’s tent was flooded until Amron(K’s father) dug Lileelditch. The laughter and work that was going on in that camp today was overwhelming. Bailing of water, splashing through puddles and mud.
Kendrah decided to take Brennan (her oldest) and Arwen for a walk in the rain. (Logan, her youngest thought he would enjoy the rain and discovered he was wrong) With in moments of stepping out from the shelter of the kitchen fly she was drenched. And I remembered why I love her all over again. I went with them on there walk which to Kendrah’s dismay did not only include mud and puddles. It included a camp full of naked people and a man with what she told me was an inflatable sex doll, simulating sex in a stream. Luckily the kids did not ask any questions. The just enjoyed the splashing.
During the walk I told Kendrah of my intentions to leave. She seemed honestly befuddled. It appears that the dwell with me chant did not work as I had intended. She only heard the contestants. In the end this a good thing, because, the King was right. She is not charmed by it. She hates it.
She said that if I wasn’t happy I should leave. That I should not base my entire existence, even if only during her lifetime, upon her. She had assumed that the allure of the trees had been too much for me and that is why she had not seen me. And as for the LO….well, she did not expect it would be a problem….after all she was married to a man in this reality when we first met, so she didn’t realize that dating someone would upset me so much. Dating!!!
I don’t know if my love for her is strong enough for me to put up with him on a regular basis. He’s just so loud. And I told her so. She said that when she said dating, she didn’t mean it in the traditional sense. They seem to be in some sort of odd relationship in which they are deeply committed to one another for two weeks each year. That she never expects that he will visit and that even though he has said he would like her to come to see him, she doubts if he really means it.
I found myself shocked. Do I even know this woman, that I have been so devoted to all these years? In the end, we decided that I should go back to the settlement and she would come to see me and see what we can do when Pennsic is over.
I won’t go however. I have tried to leave, but instead I find myself back in my corps of trees watching her. And that is what I will do until the end of Pennsic. I think the term Kendrah would use is stalker….I hope it isn’t considered a bad term. Legolas, stalker of Kendrah.
August 9, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
11:58 pm
Today saw the Annual Beer Tasting in the neighboring camp. I could see it well from my spot in the woods. Drunken louts. The loud one passed close to my spot after the drinking was over after a visit with Li Chang at Silver Phoenix. If I had had my bow…but Kendrah would never forgive that….
I watched her as she cared for the children and the children of some friends. That way she has of threatening them with dismemberment with a smile on her face that says both "I will do it, if I have to." And "I will do it with love." What a woman!
Then the rains came again. The flooding was less this time, and the frolicking less too. This time the simply watched as Eelditch and Lileelditch did their jobs, albeit slowly and Kendrah looked sadly at the belly kitchen, which while still serviceable as a kitchen, could no longer be said to be the place to be.
Of course she spent the evening, night and pre-dawn hours out. I did not follow, in case she would spot me. I saw her return as the sun rose. This time the LO even walked her to the gate…what a gentleman!
August 10, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
Kendrah arose mid morning today. She dressed and spoke with some of her camp mates and then she was gone. I think the theory of napping elsewhere may have some merit after all.
The King, who senses more than humans, knew that I had not left and today stopped by for a chat. I think that he misunderstood what the problem between K and myself was, because he was going on about how the poor man’s tent had flooded so of course K would let him stay with her….she was just being kind.
I had somehow missed a night when the Loud One stayed in Kendrah’s tent. And now she is gone with him all night and possibly all day. I cannot abide this, but what am I to do?
August 11, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
The glorious day has arrived. The loud one has left and Kendrah is sleeping. The spent very little time together today, as he had much work to do. K packed the inside of her tent as well and was in a very good mood as far as I could tell. When the time came she hugged him goodbye and went back to packing. I think it is possible that she has no actually feelings for him at all…either that or she is the finest actress the world has ever seen.
After dark, Kendrah actually stayed in camp, sitting around the camp fire with her camp mates and Valar be praised, went to bed before 11. Perhaps her behavior is simply caused by sleep deprivation and all will be well in the morning.. I know that I will rest better now that he is gone.
August 12, 2007 by reality’s reckoning.
The last day of my last Pennsic.
I will not return to this event again, no matter how things turn out with K. I cannot return here. The trees have even lost their allure.
The camp was up early again today with the reverse purpose…tearing camp down. The efficiency was much improved from previous years. I watched for a few hours and still am convinced that K’s not overwhelmed with emotion for the loud one, her mood even during this sad time is just too good. I feel confident that I will see her in the settlement with in the next few days…until then I will sing my lament.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Leggs Lament Part II

My Dearest Corwynne,

Just in an attempt to get this sordid tale out in the open as quickly as possible, I am sending off the next installment of Leggs' Pennsic writings.

There will be more to come as soon as possible.

Your affectionate friend,

July 30, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
1 pm
I am beginning to think that I am wrong about the stamina of these Pennsic folk. Kendrah returned from her evening out with Lysak and Reagan with very few stories of their adventures at 6 am. She seems to have run into "some other friends" on her way back from her time with the viking and the monk.
I am glad to say that she has gotten a little bit of sleep. She slept from 6 until 10:30, which here qualifies her as lazy. Since she got up she has been in the belly kitchen reading the latest Harry Potter book. It is so fun just to watch her. Every few pages her eyes open wide and her jaw drops. Then she will find her father, announce a page number and what number death can be found there. She has been most shocked by how quickly they started (the deaths) and how matter of fact they are dolled out. I told her that death is matter of fact….one moment it is not there and then it is, no matter what fanfare is placed before it. For this I received one of her trademark eyerolls. She does not like to be referred to as cute, but when she rolls her eyes there is no other word for it, in English or Elvish. Cute.
K is still reading. I have decided to take this time to spend tonight among the trees. I am certain that this is the night to do this. K could not possibly be planning to go out at this late stage. I am sure she will read for a few more hours and then stumble into bed. I plan to be back before she even notices I am gone. That way she will have no ammunition in her little game of "You were at Pennsic? I didn’t see you there."
July 31, 2007 by reality’s reckoning.
I have just returned from communing with the trees and the small woodland animals, to discover both the tent and belly kitchen empty. On the chair where I left Kendrah last night, the Harry Potter book sits. I cannot believe that she went out again. She is going to kill herself with this lack of sleep. I can only hope that since she will be getting her children back in her care tomorrow that she plans an early night tonight. I may have to suggest it, since she seems to have lost all sense of propriety. If she stays away much longer he parents are sure to think that she is spending the nights in the company of another man and that will do little for her reputation….I think I sense her returning….More later.
Kendrah’s return at 6am was amazingly followed by an hour more of reading Harry Potter. I could see her eyes drooping and yet she just kept reading. About twenty minutes ago, she succumbed to sleep, but only the Valar know how long she will allow that to continue.
Kendrah’s nap lasted for a few hours. Then she was once again awake and reading. The few breaks she took were to vow that the dishes would be done by tomorrow (luckily she knows the consequences of vow breaking) and to apply sunblock to the loincloth man. Having spent more time in the company of Kendrah’s camp mates this year, I have discovered that my uneasy about the attentions of the loincloth man towards my Kendrah is unwarranted. There is no other man at Cooper’s who could be less interested in stealing my love away….He, D’ner, is a kind and loving man and a wonderful influence on Kendrah. They should spend much more time together.
Having noticed that the vow to have the dishes done by tomorrow has gone unfulfilled, I took this opportunity to speak to Kendrah about her plans and activities over the past few days. Never being one to lie to me, she has admitted that the majority of her evening excursions have ended with her in the company of the Loud One. I do not understand why she would want to spend all her free time with such a man. He draws so much attention with his jokes, stories and songs that the attention of those in attendance is draw away from where it truly belongs…on her. When I asked what they do with all this time, she explained that they go from party to party and he does what she calls "the Momus show" and all the while she stands quietly behind him…occasionally feeding him a funny line to add. Then they move on until in the end, they fall asleep in the chairs around the fire in his camp. I think she might be fibbing a bit about where exactly they fall asleep, but I am willing to over look that for the moment.
The sons of my love will be returning to her care in the morning. I am sure this will cause her to temper her behavior and her late nights out will have to become far less late.
I am looking forward to our trip home in two days time. Kendrah needs to do laundry and more shopping for the belly kitchen larder. Usually this trip is made with the future Queen, but this year it will be just the two of us. It will be lovely.
August 1, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
I have, in my time, fought great battles at Helm’s Deep and the Black Gates. I have traveled the dreaded Mines of Moria and run for days on end in search of missing Hobbits. But I can not for the life of me keep track of this woman. I have no idea what time Kendrah returned last night, nor do I know when she left. I went for a stroll among the trees at dusk and when I returned, she was gone. I decided that waiting for her return was pointless so I went to the solace of the trees. When I returned this morning she was here, awake, showered and in the company of her children. Kathryn and Arwen (a lovely child, not the evil elf who stalks our King) had returned for the remainder of Pennsic. The children were playing and Kendrah was yet again reading….not doing the dishes!
I waited several hours and my horror continued to rise…. She knows the penalty for breaking a vow yet she sat there reading for several hours. Finally when I could stand it no longer, I made mention of it. She admitted her folly and immediately washed all the offending dishes. Valar be praised, the vow was not broken. Now if only I could get her to make to me a marriage vow, I know that she would never break it. Perhaps I should begin that chant again….I know how much she loves it.
Maggie, mother to my beloved, is an enabler. I am sure she knows how unhealthy it is for K to continue with this staying out all night behavior. I am also sure that even though she too enjoys the company of the loud one, she cannot approve of all the time K spends with him. Yet even with all that, she has told K that she can go out tonight and that she will act as caregiver to the children should they awaken in the night. Have they all lost their minds?!?
August 2, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
This is just too much. Today, K and I were to away to Conneaut to do laundry and shopping. I arrived back from my morning time in the woods to find that she had left without me. This is not the outrage that it could have been. I know that she has to actually travel in this reality and that time is important. I know that she knows that I can "catch her up" while she is enroute. This is what I did. I "popped" , as she calls it, into the van….I was a bit confused for a moment when I found myself in the back seat. Then I say why. There, in the front seat of the van, was the Loud One!!!! Also, the strangeness of the "Jesus radio" station they were listening to. I waited to see if she would notice me, but she was driving, listening to the radio and listening to the Loud One’s astonishment of the hate he was hearing from the radio (at least he knows hate-mongering when he hears it) and she did not notice me. I had no choice but to return to Pennsic. I will sit here, in the belly kitchen and formulate a plan to win back the affections of Kendrah…..
I sense that they are finally returning…although they are still a way off. I have yet to finish weighing all of my options, so I have enlisted the help of the King. He did not return to the world with Corwynne and instead has been making himself useful around the camp. He and the future Queen have been having relationship issues of late and I am sure that he will be able to advise me. His love returns on the morrow…most likely in the late afternoon or evening and has offered to help me prior to her return. Until then I am to stay out of site and the King will discover what he can of the trip my love took without me.
August 3, 2007 by reality’s reckoning.
The King, always the early riser, has met with me in my favorite spot in the woods. It is a corps of trees near the camp. I can see the belly kitchen and keep an eye on the sons and Arwen while the track unicorns. It is a lovely spot, where if I were to loose my love and still feel drawn to this reality from time to time I would make my home.
The King, while always a true and loyal friend, seems to think that the fact that a man from this reality, with physical form and all that goes with it, went with Kendrah is a good thing. Apparently K has been remiss in her eating habits since arriving at Pennsic. When Kendrah and the Loud One had lunch yesterday afternoon, it did crazy things to her blood sugar. I do not know what this means, and I suspect poisoning. It appears that this problem with blood sugar cause K to become disorientated while in the store, and if it had only been me with her, I would not have been able to help. My knowledge of antidotes to poisons not being as acute as the possible poisoner’s….he suggested a "Snickers bar" and that seems to have cured her. Up until the point that she took the cure, however, she was terribly confused and easily distracted from her task…according to the King, K claims that she would still be wandering around the store if it had not been for the Loud One.
The rest of the story seems innocent enough. The reason they were so late in returning was that immediately upon entering her home, both she and the loud one fell asleep on the couch. Causing them to be several hours behind in the laundry. Then lunch took longer than anticipated due to the affection that the Loud One had for the restaurant to which Kendrah was kind enough to take him to. All of that coupled with the blood sugar poisoning incident, their trip was protracted.
I asked the King if my lady had asked about my whereabouts. He did not take any pleasure in telling me that she did not. But was quick to remind me that after so many Pennsics where she did not see me for days on end for my love of the trees, that it was wrong to assume that she did not care, that instead, she must have assumed that I could no longer resist their sirens call. I hope that he is right.
I watched the camp most of the night. Kendrah could be seen frequently. Her mother could not take over the care of the children, so K must have decided to go with her 30 minute plan. She stays close to camp, and returns every thirty minutes or so to check on the children. It seems a reasonable plan, considering neither of the children have awoken at Pennsic in several years. I would prefer that she stay in camp though, but I cannot lie and say it is for the children. She has yet to return for the night but I expect to see her soon.
I have spoken with the King some more today…although the future Queen and her brother have returned and I expect no more time will be given to this old elf and his problems. We discussed it and even though he feels that I am wrong about my lady’s love of the Dwell with Me chant, I have decided to institute it on a scale not yet seen.
Tonight it will begin. I know that Sam, brother of the future Queen is going to be accompanying the Loud One for the evening and that K will be keeping score at the Chalkman’s annual music competition. This is a perfect opportunity. I will summon all my telepathic strength and throughout the competition I will make it so, instead of hearing the contestant, which she doesn’t really enjoy anyway, she will only hear me, compelling her to Dwell With Me and only me.
I am sure that after her duties are completed at the competition, she will search me out. I also know that this endeavor will use a lot of my strength and I will need to rest. So I will retreat to my spot in the woods and let her search for me a bit longer than I might usually. This is not a punishment, but will help reinforce her love for me.

The Leggs Lament Part I

My Dearest Corwynne,

Yes, another Pennsic come and gone. I am not so much in the Post Pennsic Funk as last year, but it is still there. It was very bad last week because with the scheduling change, in my mind, we should have still been there. But now that we would have been home anyway, I am doing much better...or should I say I was doing much better. I was just cleaning out Leggs' rubbermaid and I came across his Pennsic writings. I just don't know what to say. I will post them here over the next few days...perhaps longer, because once he gets going he gets very longwinded. Perhaps you will have some advice on if I should try to make things better between us or if it is time to let go.

I know, not exactly the kind of letter to help ease the depression, but it's all I've got. Please find the first part of Leggs' Pennsic journal below, and tell me what to do!

Your affectionate friend,

July 27, 2007 by reality’s reckoning
Today, Kendrah and I are embarking on a new experience for me. Whereas I have attended several Pennsics in the past, this will be my first experience with the magical process called "Land Grab". Kendrah assures me that the night prior to this occurrence is very fun. That there are many tailgate-like (I am excited to find out what this means) parties, and that running into people unexpectedly is always entertaining. I do not doubt her, for she is always right. As we are driving towards Cooper’s Lake, my anticipation of the time we will be able to spend together grows.
We arrived about a half an hour ago and my hopes of time with my love have already been dashed a bit. We made it through Troll together and parked the car. But Kendrah’s father and a man who drove up in loincloth have monopolized all of her attention. She has expressed an interest in finding a group called the Chalkman. I have heard many stories of her friends within this group, but my past years at Pennsic have been spent in other pursuits. I can only hope that if they can sense my presence that they are open to it and that none of them have an interest in taking up more of K’s time than I feel is appropriate. I must stop writing now as it has started to rain and K, her father and the loincloth man (I have been told his name is D’ner) must be about to return to the van.
July 28, 2007 by reality’s reckoning.
2:41 am
The rains came. And the trio I awaited did in fact return, but only for a moment. K retrieved an umbrella and returned to her search. She said that I was welcome to come along, but I feel that I might be much better suited to the company of the trees. I will fight this, but for tonight I will simply await her return…which must be soon, as it is so very late.
Finally, K has returned. I can only take solace in the knowledge, that as a human, there is no way she can keep up this pace for all of Pennsic. I am sure that tomorrow night we will retire early and fall neatly into a routine of time spent together, discussing trees and other living things.
K had her cell phone alarm set so that she and her father would not be late for the land grab festivities. I was hoping that it would be a battle to the death for each parcel of land, but she has informed me that it is all done on paper. Perhaps Pennsic isn’t for me.
7:45 am
I am sure that as Pennsic goes on I will write less and less, but so many things keep coming up and shocking me. K has a friend who is heavy with child. So much so that the child is expected this week. This friend has just arrived here. This would not shock me in my world. Woman heavy with child work in the fields until the child actually emerges from her body, but in this reality that is frowned upon. I commend this woman and her bravery and fortitude. She knows what is most important to her…the health and well being of her child, but when it became clear to her that it was in no danger she fought through discomfort and unapproving stares to be with the people she loved.
9:11 am
The land grab process is a huge disappointment. About 200 people standing around waiting for the late arrivals. Much to my dismay, K has wandered off with a man. I believe he is the loud one who she spent so much time with last year. I must have faith though. I am sure she has gone off with him in order to spare him some embarrassment when she tells him that she is here with me and will be unable to accompany him on any outing this year. Yes, I am sure that is what it is.
11 am
Land Grab is complete and we have begun setting up the Silver Phoenix encampment. I must have been correct in my last entry. The loud one, who is called Momus, and my lady are in very close proximity to one another, but they aren’t speaking or even paying any attention to one another. I am sure she has told him where her heart truly lies. I feel badly for him. But he is standing up to the pain with a strength I don’t think I would have if I had lost her. I wish him all the best in his future life devoid of Kendrah.
July 29, 2007 by reality's reckoning
Kendrah never ceases to amaze me. After the camp set up was finished for the day, I expected that we would have our evening meal and retire for the night. K had other ideas. She ate and then walked the half mile to the showers. When she returned, we went for a stroll around the lake. Considering that this is ¾ of a mile, I expected that this would do her in, but it did not. We walked up to the Chalkman Pub where she sat at the fire with a man named Geoff. I enjoyed this man greatly. He has genuine affection for Kendrah, but no romantic inclinations at all. This is the type of man that she should spend all of her time in reality with.
After some time, Geoff introduced K to a man named Furgel. This has turned out to be a bad thing. Furgel was excited to discover that K knows a woman he desired to see. K, never wanting to impose upon people, took Furgel to the Silver Phoenix camp and went to get this woman. When they returned they had two men with them….the loud one and a man who looks like the travelocity gnome from the palantir box. Furgel has proven to be a most unwelcome guest and now that he is gone, the loud one has take all the attention of those gathered. I am sitting waiting in the tent and everyone is laughing and talking and no one is screaming about how he should go home. These humans will forever confuse me!!
8:30 am
This pace cannot continue. They are just humans and it is not possible that they can continue with this much drinking and this small amount of sleep. Soon I am sure that the heat, drink, and lack of sleep will takes it’s toll and they all will slip into comas. Anyway, they all have been up and working on the completion of the camp for some time now. It does not seem to matter that most went to bed just 4 hours ago and that my own Kendrah did not return from her stroll around the lake until almost 530. They are all working cheerfully as if they have just awoken from a night full of rest. Sam, brother to the future Queen, is proving himself to be a wonderful help to all who need it. We certainly could have used him in the early days of the settlement. He has also declared himself to be some sort of unofficial score keeper. He declared Silver Phoenix the "winner" for both Saturday and Sunday. I don’t really know what he is talking about but I have always enjoyed being on the winning side of any fight. Go Silver Phoenix!!!!
A lot of work was done today. The camp and Kendrah’s beloved belly kitchen are mostly in order. Many of the members of camp have gone back to their homes to return throughout the week. I am sure that this will give Kendrah and myself more time together. I have been giving it much thought and I am certain that once the novelty of seeing her friends wears off, she will be happy to sit with me and discuss the things that are important. The trees here are so lovely and I have not yet seen any gypsy moth nests, so I am happy to say that I think they will continue to be so for many years to come.
Several hours ago, Kendrah wander off with two gentlemen. Lysak and Reagan. Lysak is a friend she has known for many years and she is good friends with his girlfriend Vendela. Reagan is a man of the cloth and therefore, there is no risk there. I feel good about her spending time with these men, and I am sure she will be in at a reasonable hour tonight.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Post Pennsic Funk

My Dearest Kendrah,

Well, it's over. Another Pennsic come and gone and the funk has set in. I finished all the muddy laundry and thought "Aw! Now I have to put everything away and Pennsic is really, truly over!" That's not right, Mellon Nin! The end of laundry usually signals great rejoicing! I even washed all the mud off the leftover bottles of diet Pepsi! I have one gown that requires hand washing and I keep avoiding it, because it's the last piece of garb I haven't packed! I haven't mopped the kitchen floor because there's Cooper's mud and grass on it. Sure, I keep telling myself it's senseless to mop before Summerland this weekend because I'll just be tracking in more mud and grass, but I suspect that's just an excuse. Sigh...

In any case, Pennsic was fantastic. Sam ( the Smart-Ass Time-Keeping Friar, not the Hobbit) had a great time and it was fun to have him there! I guess making plans with Momus his first night on site helped ease him into the whole experience. And I learned that he is not a fop. No store-bought Ren-Faire garb for Sam! Which is cool. I can make monk robes and early period garb with no problem at all! Now we just have to get Chris! (Who will probably want to be a Samurai or something equally complicated!)

On a happier note, it the King and I are doing much better now. I think our week away from The Doctor and the temptation of DVDs helped immensely. You may have noticed how very attentive he was the whole time we were there. He even slept in my tent instead of roughing it under a picnic table wrapped in his sexy leather coat! Of course, I don't know what kind of mischief he got himself into that first week while I was stuck at precollege, but better not to know perhaps. Things are still good now that we're home. We've been spending a lot more time together, him hanging out while I pack away gear and me traipsing off to the White City when duty calls. He may even pop over to Summerland for a bit to see the band on Saturday night. That would be very sweet. You know how he doesn't usually go in for heathen displays!

Well, I must dash. I apologize for the relative incoherence of this note. On top of everything, I locked my keys in my house, so I have to hope Jan is around when I get home so I can get her keys! Arrgh!

I hope to fill you in on more details of Pennsic etc once I return from the fest this weekend. For now, the grief is still too near...

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Pre Pennsic Funk

My Dearest Cowynne,

Here I sit, looking at the pennsic countdown clock on and for some reason I cannot get excited about the fact that there are only 34 hours and change left before the site opens. Two weeks ago, I was thrilled that time was passing so quickly, but shortly thereafter I suddenly jsut didn't care.

I am sure that you remember that this happens to me every year, but usually much earlier, giving me enough time for it to pass before the event is actually upon me. But this year is different for some reason. Oh well. I will still be there and I am certian that this will be a fabulous year, with all the wonderful changes we have to look forward to. I just can't get geared up for it...Oh well.

Leggs, on the other hand, can hardly contain himself. He returned from the long hunt rejuvinated and ready for some hardcore tree sitting. He has decided that just a personal study of the leaves of Pennsic will not be enough this year, and following the King's lead, will be keeping a journal. He says "No, it will not just be about trees..." but I guess we will have to see. He is so excited that he even helped my father put the belly kitchen cabinets into the truck...granted I had to make it look like I was helping, cause imagine trying to explain that to the neighbors!

Anyway, all that being said, I have a bit more pre pennsic work to do and should get to it. I will see you on Saturday, when I am certain to be in a much better mood.

Your affectionate friend,

P.S. I am glad to hear that you have a plan of action for renewing your relationship with the king. The settlement wishes you all the luck in middle earth that everything can be put to rights.

Thursday, July 19, 2007


My Dearest Kendrah,

Thank you so much for your support in my time of need. I admit things have gotten better since the I watched the season finale. I've had a week or so to process my feelings and I realize that though I am currently infatuated, my deeper feelings for the King have not changed. I think I just got comfortable with the Doctor. I mean, he's been there for me, waiting for me when I got home from work or where ever, almost everyday since November. There were no worries, no trade agreements, no peasants, no Eowyn...just me and the Doctor and the disposable companions. It was comforting, I think, knowing that he cared, when the King seemed indifferent. But I can't blame Aragorn, he has bigger things on his mind than how the drain in my basement has backed up again.

That's the difference I think. No matter how small or insignificant the problem, the Doctor cares. And being a rogue Time Lord, he has more leisure to enjoy the little things in life. It's one of the drawbacks of royalty, we so busy with everyone else's problems, that we have little time to appreciate each other. The King and I started to to take each other for granted, and the Doctor whooshed in and filled the gap.

Aragorn and I are hoping to rekindle the romance at Pennsic this year. We hope that a more relaxed atmosphere will allow us o just be ourselves instead of stressing about appearances. We hope this time away from the White City, paparazzi and DVD players will help us rekindle the passion and romance of the old days.

In other news, the King and I are eagerly awaiting the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". We are both studiously avoiding spoilers of any kind. We did have a spot of bother with the publisher over the extrareality edition. Aragorn was trying to work out a deal so we could release the Gondorian edition at the same time as the US release, 12:01 tomorrow. Unfortunately, with the heightened security around the book, several of the GPS equipped delivery trucks were unable to cross the reality border ad seem to be held up in a tesseract somewhere. I hope that Faramir and the flock of government copyright attorneys we've assigned to case are able to sort this out in the next 36 hours or there will be some very unhappy kids in the White City.

Well, I must get back to work and sort out my pre college family weekend duties. I won't get home from work until after three on Saturday and have reserved the rest of the evening for HPDH reading. I will be in touch as soon as I can.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The TV Boyfriend Experience

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am a little surprised that you have fallen under the spell of a TV boyfriend. It always seemed that you were steadfastly a Movie boyfriend kinda gal. It sort of makes me happy to see that I am not the only one that this can happen to.

I remember all to well the way Leggs reacted to my TV-B. ( I won't lie to you and say that it was good for our relationship, but in the end I don't think it harmed it too much either. I am sure that when this infatuation with the Doctor passes the King will come around.

I am impressed with you choice of boyfriends. I know several people who are also in love with David Tennant Doctor. Luckily they don't have active imaginary worlds so we don't have to worry about him being called away from you to often. I have seen the actor in other shows and can definitly understand the physical appeal. As for the sanctaty of the Doctor, I am pretty sure that I would be in love with Tom Baker Doctor if I hadn't known him when I was a child. Now I simply love him in a fatherly way. I hope that when my Who-athon concludes I won't fall for your TV Boyfriend, cause that would just be weird...we never fall for the same guys.

Anyway, it is not cheap and dirty, (unless you want it to be) and I am sure it will pass. Every one knows that your heart truly lies with the King.

Give my best to those in the White City and keep some for yourself...

Your affectionate friend,

Friday, July 06, 2007

TV Boyfriend Traumas

My Dearest Kendrah,

Before any of those pompous Elves who spy on our correspondence start sniggering, by TV I mean TELEVISION, not TRANSVESTITE. I have not caught the king parading around the bedchamber wearing my unmentionables, claiming to be “Estel”. (Well, not recently anyway).

Anyway, to the problem at hand, I’m afraid I’m falling in love with the Doctor. Doctor who?, you ask? THE Doctor. Drives a TARDIS, Time Lord, regenerates occasionally. You are astounded I know. Shocked even. How can I fall for the Doctor? A character once played by Patrick Troughton! A guy with a mechanical dog! A playboy who jets through space and time with countless female “companions” dumping them randomly when he gets bored! The man who schlepped through seven years wearing a ridiculous floppy hat and oversized scarf! It’s wrong, it’s unnatural, I feel cheap and dirty, but there it is. I love the Doctor!!! (To be fair, I think it has a lot to do with David Tennant. Even when he isn’t being the Doctor he’s charming and has that sexy Scottish accent!)

It makes no difference to the King, however. He is most certainly not amused. He has made it know that actor or Doctor, I’m taking this crush way to far. I suggested that perhaps we invite David Tennant Doctor over for the weekend, just to meet him and get to know him a bit better. The King replied with disparaging remarks about the trouble Jon Pertwee Doctor had with alternate dimensions and brooded darkly on the possibility that the aged TARDIS would have issues making an Inter-Realty jump, because Eru forbid, what if they got STUCK in our reality! He finds this newest Doctor too lax in his duties, more interested in snogging than protecting the space/time continuum. “He’s no Tom Baker Doctor,” the King snorts derisively. He never fails to take the opportunity to remind me of all of the previous Doctors’ quirks and faults.

I just three new disks from Netflix and the King has decided to take a long hunting trip. (perhaps he’ll catch up with Legolas and they can sulk together!) For the time being, I suppose I must continue my unrequited adoration of David Tennant and trust that all will work out for the best.

Well, enough of my rambling. I should stop mooning over a man I can never have and make a precollege schedule or something. Sigh…

Your Affectionate Friend,

PS-it would be wrong to change my name to Romana, wouldn’t it?

PPS-Season three begins on SciFi tonight! Why, oh why do I have the crappy cable?!?!?!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Offical Homeowner

My Dearest Corwynne,

It has been so very long since I have been able to write, I hardly know where to begin.

I am very glad to hear that the King enjoyed Wellspring. He really does need to get out among the common people more often, it seems to please him. I am sure he is looking forward to what should be a fabulous Pennsic this year, and at least there he doesn't have pull his punches. It is also great that he was able to be there when you were sworn in...nice to have a bit of imaginary emotional support.

I hope that your dinner goes beautifully and I can't wait to see you on Saturday for the Great Day of Table Making. It should be fun. If the King decides to come with you you should let him know that Leggs will probably not be there. He is sort of mad at me at the moment and has decided to go on a long hunt until Pennsic.

See, in preparation for the move I got a dumpster. And I was sort of in love with it. Seriously, I want one all the time. And when I wrote about it in my live journal ( and referred to it as my new love, he was angry. Not angry enough to say anything, but then a few days ago I wrote again about Matt and Dan. Matt and Dan were the lovely gentlemen who came to the house to install the cable and the internet. I wrote about how they were helping to ease the pain of the loss of the dumpster. It appears that that was the last straw.

As it turns out, Leggs had shown my live journal to several of his more computer savvy elf friends and they had been teasing him about it. And when the cable men had taken what he felt was his place in my life he couldn't take it anymore. So this morning he packed his quiver and he was off. I can't say that I am sad about it. With all the unpacking that is left to do his moodiness was gonna get him smacked. (Have you ever smacked an elf? It isn't a smart thing to do.) As always, it will be fine in the end. He will be back in time to be no help with the Pennsic packing and once there he will be off communing with nature whenever it is time to take out the trash or lift something other words everything will be back to normal.

Any way, there is still much unpacking to do, and I would like to get as much done as I can before you get here on Saturday, so I will have to sign off. Give my best to the King.

Your affectionate friend,

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Painting and Cleaning

My Dearest Kendrah,

I hope this letter finds you well. I realize you will be occupied most of this weekend getting you and the Sons moved into your new home, but it's been a while since I've written. Read whenever you get a chance!

I too survived War Practice. It was pleasant, too bad about the rain Saturday night. The next weekend was Wellspring. Aragorn decided to come along this time. Apparently he's gotten over his initial dislike of my "heathen displays" and thought he'd join in. And it was another excuse to go camping and avoid paperwork! As usual, he spent most of the time drinking beer, hiking and writing poetry. He joined in the warrior games too, but really pulled his punches. He thought that since he wasn't a real ADF member, or for that matter, real at all, it would be better to let someone win. It was nice that he was there when i got sworn onto the board of directors. He can be very supportive at times!

I'm in cleaning mode. I have to get the house ready for my Midsummer's Eve Faerie Dinner. You wouldn't believe the dust on everything! (Well, yes you've cleaned my house before). Anyway, I got most of the dusting done and tidied up the back room a bit. I still need to mop all the floors and clean the kitchen, but there's time. My project yesterday was painting the bathroom. I have to say, the King was more helpful than usual. He even scrubbed the mildew off the ceiling! I guess with all his Elven experience, he understands how much the Fair Folk appreciate a clean bathroom. I was so excited to put up my new shower curtain and finally set out my new rug and trash can! I've had my old shower curtain since 1991! I hardly recognize the place!

BTW, Faramir and Eowyn plan to join us for table-making. I'm not sure how useful they'll be, but they seem to think a day in Conneaut would be splendid fun! I can't wait 'til they see power tools!! Kathryn and I bought 12 or so napkins at the Highland Park Yard Sale last weekend. I'll get those all washed and ironed. I plan to sew up the tablecloths and bring them when we make the tables. That way all the linens will be together. (We also looked for wooden folding chairs but has no luck. Very disappointing.)

I'm anxious to start making some garb for Sam. Aragorn offered to loan him some stuff, but I think Sam would prefer his own garb. He's fussy! If I get the rest of the house cleaned this week, I'll start in on some basics. Sam plans to come over next weekend so I'd like to have something for him to see!

Well, I should get going. It's garbage night and there's a lot to haul. I still can't get the king to take out the trash. Best of luck with your move. I look forward to hearing from you!

Your affectionate Friend,

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Recent Unpleasentness

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am so glad that we have a written record of your birthday festivities. It will be a wonderful guide for the children of Gondor to use in the future when your birthday becomes a Gondorian National Holiday, as I am sure it will. They won't really understand why they are giving each other televisions, but I am sure they will find something to do with them.

I hope that you have recovered from War Practice, and have finally gotten warm. That WP weather is always a pitfall. But the company, especially this year, is always worth it. Leggs was half tempted to stay home to avoid some of the company, but we really luck out with their eventual absence. And he is thrilled to have partaken in the "fantasy" cheese spread and thought that it seemed very realistic...(like he would know!)

Another excellent part of WP was meeting with other groups that have heard independently of our current situation and feel, as we do, that we have been treated in a very unchivalrous manner. Of course we knew this, but it always nice to have independent confirmation. We do have such lovely friends.

Well, it is time to unpack the bags and carry on with the laundry. I hope you found the White City was able to carry on with out you for the weekend.

Your affectionate friend,

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Final Post Party Post

My Dearest Kendrah,

The Show from Hell is finally over and the semester will be soon, so I can catch up on my correspondence.

Back to reliving the glory days of my party...ah yes, those were good times...

I was very glad my Aunt Vista and Uncle Paul made it in and was delighted that Uncle Paul and Felicia hit it off so well. Just when I was convinced my family and friends would have nothing in common, surprise! Bonding over motorcycles!

Rating a ballroom (even a junior one) was pretty impressive. The massive Italian cookie trays that Deana arranged provided plenty of leftovers for folks to wrap in napkins and smuggle out of the hall in their purses. The cake was delicious. Actually, all of the food was really good, not just "good for hotel food." And the buffet was lovely...beef, chicken and tortellini along with salad and veggies. Yummy! And whatever the pink sparkling wine was that we had for toasts was terrific! I wish we had remembered to ask that super nice bartender what it was.

It was fun opening presents there. Logan and Mai were very helpful with tearing paper off of boxes and Brennan and Arwen were great at picking up the wrapping scraps. Brennan and Arwen were very helpful all night, setting the favors around, picking up trash...

I think it was the heels more than the exhaustion that made the polka more difficult than it should have been. Doing the Chicken dance with Mai, Logan and Eric and Kathryn was a lot of fun. Three year olds love dancing in a circle!

It was a challenge to get all my loot home again, but we prevailed. You were correct. The TV snapped the King right out of his funk. He even helped me get it all set up, but I think it was more so he could get to Dr Who on the bigger screen faster than it was to be helpful. (Since I STILL can't get him to knock down the cobwebs that are too high for me to reach!)

The after party was was drunk, cheese was eaten...I've only seen my neighbor briefly since that night, so I know he's still alive. And I've seen his girlfriend, so she's alive too. Maybe I don't actually want to know what was going on!

I made my thank you notes I need to get them written and addressed. I need to email Kathryn and remind her to send me the loot list! I'll make sure to have them in the mail this weekend.

The King and I are both hoping to attend War Practice. If we figure out how and when I can get there, I may ask Lassair if she wants to camp with us.

Well, I must be off. I promised the King we'd watch the rest of the Dr. Who special features disk tonight.

Your Affectionate Friend,