Monday, November 24, 2008

Call a Cambulance

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am again flummoxed by the lack of understanding that Leggs has gained over the past six years. Six years!!!!! He was here when the great and powerful Amron was temporarily felled by a heart attack and yet, when Cam suffered the same malady on Thursday night he was still in complete shock. Don’t get me wrong, I too was shocked that yet another of our strong tent raising men would be victim to this, but we are but human, so I have to say he was far more shocked and not a little bit confused.

Leggs was here when my father came and told me how the events unfolded, the details I will now tell you as Leggs heard them in his head.

Amron, “Cam had a heart attack last night.”
Leggs’ head, “These humans make no sense, why is it one organ can have attacks and the others do not. I have watched many hours of the palantir box and never has any one arrived at hospital with a lung attack. Or a bone attack, or a spleen attack, or….(this went on for a while, I will spare you)

Amron, “The ambulance had trouble getting out of the driveway, because of all the snow.”
Leggs’ head, “What!? How is that snow can impede this Bulance of Cam? It should just ride upon the snow like I do.”

Amron, “They put a stint in one of his arteries and he should be fine.”
Leggs’ head, “Into his heart!? Fools, that is the one place you do not want to pierce above all others!” Moment of thought, “Unless this stint is like love, which may safely be placed in the heart….it must be this.”

Does the King still have this sort of difficulty? I realize that they are immortal or at least nearly immortal, but does it then follow that they can have no concept of the frailty of humans….they have fought with humans, they have drunk with humans, and now have both spent six years in close relationships with humans. Am I asking too much that when one of our number is ill, that I get a chance to think about what I can do to help them rather than trying to explain again and again about human anatomy and life expectancy, and that yes, even the Cam-Ron is, despite their Numenorian like strength, human?

Anyway, that is what I have been dealing with since the incident on Thursday. I hope that the King took the news better than Leggs and you got to spend you time sending out good vibes or something else equally druid-like.

I know that I shouldn't be complaining. Leggs is showing his concern in the only way he knows how, which is kind of sweet when it isn't really annoying. And most important of all, Cam is doing well. So, in the end, we will have to pretend that I am not complaining about anything, that I am, instead, simply sharing the story with you as it unfolded.

Your affectionate friend,

PS. Grapes of Wrath---the opera---please tell me you are joking…and if you are not, that you have not gotten tickets for the King. His retelling and resigning of Animal Farm has just ended!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

That Time of Year

My Dearest Kendrah,

It's that time of year again....the BIG MUSICAL time of year. I've been swamped the past few weeks selling tickets to "Into the Woods." In fact, we sold out the entire run as of yesterday. Now it's dealing with the disappointment of the Sondheim-loving masses who can't get in to see it. In any case, it's a long show and I've been working like twelve hours a day and neglecting the King terribly. Fortunately, he and Faramir have departed for a long-weekend hunting and fishing trip that should keep him form moping about the citadel. He gets so crabby when I'm stuck at work and he can't figure out how to turn on the DVD player! The King has promised to be home on Sunday with fresh venison. Whee! Perhaps you and Leggs could join us for a barbecue...though poor Faramir is still a bit sensitive about bonfires.

I'm glad Leggs is taking an active interest in real-world politics. It's adorable! I love when he gets all excited about a project and just throws himself into it willy-nilly!! (I just described an Elf as willy-nilly! I'm gonna pay for that later) The King seems quite pleased with the way things turned out. He's thinks that a young, forward-thinking president who reads Harry Potter might be more willing to enter into trade agreements with imaginary worlds than the previous administrations. I told him not to get his hopes up.

Remember back when we did a musical production of "Animal Farm"? Apparently there is an opera version of "The Grapes of Wrath." I mean, ok, opera is bit different than musical theater, but really? Singing in the Dust Bowl? What are people thinking!

Let's see...what other news...I'm petting Diedre on a regular basis now. The King can't understand why this is such a big deal. Seems the two of them have quite the fantasy life without me, just like he and Robinson. Honestly...sometimes my pets get to spend more time with my imaginary boyfriend than I do!!

All righty, I need to get some work done. I hope all is well with you. If I can make it through this weekend I'll be great! I'm planning to take all of next week off work and spend quality time in the White City teaching Eowyn how to stuff a turkey!

You're Affectionate Friend,

PS-the delighted to hear that David Tennant is vacating the TARDIS. There's been more than a little gloating. I try not to let him see my heart ache!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

It sounds like the beginning of a joke...

My Dearest Corwynne,

Last night Leggs and I were watching the election coverage. Figuring there were hours left before it would be called I figured it would be safe to flip to Comedy Central, which is what we were watching when the announcement came. Luckily, for me, the comedy didn't end there.

Of course we were very happy with the outcome. Leggs had been re-reading the Handmaid's Tale in preparation for another republican win, so I am sure you can imagine our relief. Anyway, shortly after the announcement there was a bit about who would be running in 2012, at which point Leggs suggested that you and I should take a stab at it. Once I realized he wasn't joking, it just got funnier.

He began citing our foreign relations experience, with the taming of the orcs and the trade agreements with the Easterlings. Then on to our executive experience....your re-orginization of the White City, my experience in building an integrated community from the ground up. Then he got very serious and said that he hoped I would not be offended by the fact that he thought it would be best if you were the top of the ticket instead of me.

I assured him that I was not offended and that he would be correct. Your imaginary executive experience is far more extensive than mine. I couldn't help but laugh, he was so very sincere. But you know that my policy in dealing with imaginaries is to always tell them the truth in the hope that they could one day full intergrate into reality...a fruitless hope in Leggs case, I fear.

So I tried. I reminded him of the Obama/Aryes connection. That our connections, and in many ways, the fact that we are who we are would not be appealing to the voters. Not only is my best friend a druid, but also my running mate...not going to fly. I reminded him how Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain did lots of campaigning...I don't think many people would show up for campaign events where the speaker doesn't actually exsist.

Then I explained that even if we could get the voters to accept these things as normal, I doubted that these writing which, as it turns out, are very easy to find would be printed in newspapers as a testament to our deep seeded psychosis. I tried to explain, that even when people that I know discover these writings my heart pounds in terror that they will not see this as two women with healthy imaginations and extra time on there hands.

By the end of the night I thought I had gotten through to him. He went back to the settlement and I went to bed. This morning, however, I discovered that his plan will not be foiled by logic or facts. I came into my living room to discover that while in the settlement, he had gotten everyone together to start making campaign signs.

I think I will wait a few days before I tackle the point that "S&M in '12" is only going to appeal to a small portion of the voting public. I just don't have the strength today.

Your affectionate friend,

PS. A druid and an atheist enter an election....

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Election and Memory

My Dearest Kendrah,

Well, the King is not dealing very well with this election. First he was VERY confused that no one’s son was running. I thought I had managed to clarify all that for him eight years ago, but apparently he did not retain my careful explanation of the democratic process vs, divine right monarchy.

He’s been glued to CNN all evening trying to make sense of the projections and is eagerly counting down the poll closings, though he doesn’t quite have the hang of the whole multiple time zone thing. He’s not at all convinced that it is really technology and not evil sorcery that is getting the info to us so quickly. You know how he mistrusts the palantir boxes and the little people who live in them. I caught him trying to give McCain a beer earlier…fortunately I stopped him before he poured it on the TV!

I’ve been trying to distract him all evening with Pennsic memories. Like how adorable the kids looked all dressed up in their pirate gear. And how Elven and very serious Arwen was when she went shooting for the first time. He reminisced about the wine tasting and how it was the best one ever! No one got too drunk, there was lots of singing, good shopping afterwards…he even reminded me that I need to actually learn how the verses to “Barrett’s Privateers” go so I don’t have to fake it again. We talked about the food, the yogurt and granola mornings, the beneficent magic of the coffee pot, taco night, Rook smelling like onions after making the soup, the tasty Brussels sprouts. He laughed at the memory of Friar Sam, Rook and Gardner with axes making wood chips and how much fun he had with Amron and Cam commentating on their progress. We smiled at how much music was made and beer was drunk and how good the weather was and how many knights he killed in the field battle. I reminded him how much fun we all had at the Wolgemut concert when he did the Polar Bear Dance and how much your youngest son enjoyed the band.

Sadly, these happy memories distract him only briefly and then he is back to fretting about the election. He once again assured me that if things go badly I could take up permanent residence in the White City and we would never have to worry about reality again, though he would miss the indoor plumbing and central heating. Like Fangorn, we will not be hasty, as it would be a major life style change for both of us, but I’m keeping my options open.

I should go back to the living room. I hear him with the remote flipping back and forth rapidly between CNN, MSN and Fox. And the PA polls will have closed by now. I’d like to check in and see how we’re doing. If he gets too tense, maybe I can get him to help with some cleaning. Having our Samhain this late after all the other Samhains I’ve been through already is taking its toll on my desire to clean, cook or do anything other than drink beer and watch the palantir box. Somehow, I think the threat of housework will keep his nerves to the minimum.

Take care! I look forward to hearing about your trip.

Your Affectionate Friend,