Monday, November 27, 2006

Chenille Musings

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am glad to hear that you enjoyed your holiday, even with the controversy over the Hobbit. Leggs has organized a committee to try and work out solutions to the problem. Sadly, as always, the "solutions" being discussed are not quite what we are looking for. The current favorite is that we send the stealthiest warriors to Hollywood to kidnap the stars of the film and replace them with the "real" elf, hobbit, dwarf, or what have you. When they have successfully taken over their lives they will simply refuse to participate in the film until PJ is back in the fold. The other scenario is just kidnapping and ransom them for PJ. I have tried to explain that this would be a terrorist action and that the people they would be dealing with would frown on that, but they are busy naming the operation and trying to get me to get them walky talkys.

In other news, my holiday was uneventful. I spent it at a friends house. I ate well and did not have to do any of the cleaning. Now that is what I call a holiday.

Yesterday, my mother stopped by. We were in the yard discussing the pros and cons of chenille socks. Pro: soft and comfy. Con: obscenely slippery. Right after this conversation I saw a squirrel fall out of the neighbors really tall tree. Leggs saw it fall too, and his response was to simply say that the squirrel must have been wearing chenille socks. This image, burned into my brain, had me laughing for hours.

Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving

My Dearest Kendrah,

I hope your Thanksgiving was pleasant and relatively stress free. I'm reporting in from Raleigh NC. where the beer count has come in at about 5.33 bottles of beer per day per person, not counting five litres of some German beer that came in a big can and a bottle of wine. My brothers caught occasional glimpses of Aragorn, but he was in and out a lot the past few days. Apparently the PJ-Hobbit-New Line news is causing quite an uproar in Middle Earth and when there's trouble in ME, there's trouble in the White City.

I'm not sure how much Leggs has told you (or for that matter how much he knows) but apparently PJ and New Line are not seeing eye to eye and it looks like the studio now plans to make the Hobbit without PJ. I don't want to go into details, but pop on over to theonering.net and read the letter from PJ and Fran as well as some of the fan reaction. Needless to say there is a great deal of concern. Representatives from the Middle Earth Travel and Tourism board are camped out in our Great Hall demanding that the king "take steps." Apparently there is some concern that a new director may not accurately represent the culture and peoples of the various kingdoms (Borat syndrome!).

Someone must have slipped Thranduil a bootleg copy of the old Rankin and Bass cartoon and he is far from pleased. Riders from Mirkwood are arriving almost hourly. Let's hope he doesn't plan to make the trip himself! And Durin's Folk! There are dwarves everywhere trying to get a royal audience! So far Faramir's been able to keep them in line, but you know how stubborn dwarves can be. I've asked Gimli to come over to try to keep the situation under control. I've no doubt that representatives of the Shire will be arriving any day now. (Note to self--air out the Hobbit-sized beds!)

Honestly, I don't think there is much we can do from Middle Earth to influence PJ or the studio. Aragorn is putting together a committee to study the issue, but we don't have enough information yet to know what "steps" to take. For the moment the Crown is urging patience. I wish Gandalf would pop in. I'd love to get his reaction, since this affects him directly. Perhaps we'll have news of him soon.

Well, I should finish my last beer and get to bed. It's been stressful dealing with the holiday and "The Hobbit" issue. I will contact you and representatives from the settlement as soon as I have more information.

Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Settling for a Mess

My Dearest Corwynne,
I find my self looking back fondly on my self imposed exile from the settlement. Since my return I have spent my time cleaning up bits of the trim of nightmares and trying to come up with a pattern for the new trim. This use of my time has Leggs in a lather again. He thought that we would just go on picnics or something. I suppose this would have been possible if he had made sure that the settlement stayed tidy in my absence. Considering how fastidious they all are about there personal appearances you would think that they might have picked up after themselves every once in a while, but alas they did not.
Leggs is also upset that I spend time with other people in the real world. I guess that he didn't notice when I was visiting the settlement, but when I was not there he began to ask what I was doing with my time. He found out that I went to Maryland for a wedding and that there were men there, and he was not amused. His jealous streak is really starting to wear me out. I have had to agree to spending most of Thanksgiving in the settlement to get him to stop annoying me. I would hate to have to return to the time of the hearth, but he might just push me there.
In other news, a friend of mine has a friend who writes LOTR fanfic.(Imagine spending all that time writing about things that aren't real.) Anyway, she has some great icons and this is one that I knew you and the king would enjoy.



Your Affectionate Friend,
Kendrah

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Trim Terror

My Dearest Kendrah,

I admit that the memory of the Orc-woven trim has haunted me this past week. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined it! (and I have have some pretty odd dreams!) It was bit like "The Emperor's New Clothes". We could all see the horror, but none of us could say it out loud! Including the models! Even the King managed to hold his tongue while we were there. I noticed he drank an awful lot of black lager when we got back to the Samhain party though. Alas, drowning the memory in beer worked better for him than it did for me.

I've spent all weekend here trying to clean my house. What started out as a simple "redding up" turned into a cleaning frenzy that is still not complete... one of those nightmare projects where I suddenly started rearranging rooms, spending hours filing paperwork and dusting my little guys. (By the way, I moved them into a cabinet with glass doors so they won't get so dusty in the future. They seem pleased with the arrangement.) I hauled FOUR BAGS of trash out of the basement! Once again the king made himself scarce when it came time to move furniture! But he brought me a chicken to cook up for dinner tonight (already plucked even!), so it's not all bad. I just have to get the place into some kind of order before Friday when my brother gets here.

We're going to North Carolina again for Thanksgiving. I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off so we can leave next Saturday and spend the week. It should be fun. Aragorn is planning to come to Thanksgiving dinner. I wonder how much beer my brothers will have to drink before they can see him. They always look askance when I set an "extra" place at the table.

Well, I should go get the chicken out of the oven. I hope all is well with you. Keep me updated on the trim progress!

Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Samhain/Fashion Show Extravaganza

My Dearest Corwynne,
It was so wonderful to see you and the King at the party. The beer, the gifts, and the company was all lovely. I absolutely adore my new pot holders and napkins. The kids love them too.
I'm glad that we didn't miss much when we left for the disastrous fashion show. I can't believe that they thought using orc designed trim was a good idea. The work that the orcs put into it was amazing and quite accurate, but I don't think epic bloody battle scenes is a good theme for an outfit, or twenty outfits. And I am certain that the fabric blood droplets that were left on the runway were just wrong.
In short I think I will have to give in and do some sewing work in the settlement. I will have to break out the loom and make some replacement trim. I think the elves will be disappointed that the only patterns I know how to do are Viking in nature, but really it can't be worse. I don't know if I will be able to do anything about the awful colors that they chose to dye the silks. Road construction orange on pasty elves....Not pleasing to the eye. And the idea of 40 elves milling around the settlement in those colors is the making of nightmares.
Leggs will be pleased when I tell him that I will be spending the more time in the settlement. He is concerned about all the time I have been spending elsewhere with other people. He has even been hinting about the whole dwelling thing again. That way he would be more comfortable with my time elsewhere. I think the next few months will be trying....Sewing and the dwell with me chant. What joy.

Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Halloween Festivities

My Dearest Kendrah,

Congratulations on your newest discovery concerning the complexities of reality jumping. As I think back, I tend to pop directly to the White City and move out from there. When questioned, Aragorn admits he ususally jumps to my place then wanders off on his real world adventures. It appears neither of us have tried to jump to another location, or wondered if it were possible. Your experience makes us rethink once again the nature of fantasy. The king thinks we should create some some of controlled experiment to see exactly how this works. I've asked him to wait until January, as the Gondorian Academy plans to open up aditional funding after Yule. I'm afraid this fundng is being secretly provided by the military as a way to track possible entry points of enemy combatants. Rumours of the havoc the White Witch is wreaking in Narnia surface every year around Christmas and those pesky pirates from Neverland are always a threat...though the according to the latest treaty, they're Umbar's poblem now, not Gondor's...

Anyway, the king and I have been quite occupied the past few weeks with Halloween fun. Two weeks ago, we spent the weekend with the Druids honoring our Ancestors. He enjoyed the pot luck where we all brough are traditional family food to share. He roasted a haunch of venison for the occasion. Last weekend, we went to Deana and Eric's Halloween party. Aragorn had a blast! He dressed as Saruman and I must say his costume looked great! I went as a faculty member from Hogwarts (Special Guest Lecturer-Muggle Studies) After numerous drinks, many of the guests were actually able to see him! (But since we were together, quite a few of them mistook him for Dumbledore!) All in all, it was a lovely time. On Sunday we went to Sarina's where I won second place in a pumpkin carving contest. I opted to go with something non-traditional - dragons. Unfortunately, Aragorn left early to watch the Steeler game, so he missed the carving part. I brought him some roasted pumpkin seeds and he seemed content.

We are really looking forward to this weekend-Samhain and and the fashion show. He's hoping to drink a lot of beer with Amron and Michael. And he's relieved that he can just wear his regular clothes and not have to get all gussied up in a costume. I did ask that he wear something nice...something casual from his Court collection rather than the smelly old Ranger gear...since we had to put in an appearance at the fashion show. He might even wear a crown, jut to look official!

Well, I must be off. Lots of things to get done today! We'll see you soon!

Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne