Thursday, February 23, 2006

Still not the King....I mean Queen

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am glad that you are finding your being a King's concubine manual useful. But I must admit that many in the settlement, including myself, had hoped that you would have been able to move onto the "I'm the Queen So Shut Up and Do It" guide by now. We don't want to pressure you or the king, but it just seems like enough already. So I decided to take one for the settlement and just ask.....Do you have a date yet? I won't say anything else about it.

Leggs has been thinking of jumping into Narnia as well, he thought it would be an ideal spot for a hunting trip. Then he found out that most of his quarry would be talking to him and he changed his mind. All for the best really. I would hate to have him hear those rumors about Narnia's weapons of mass destruction and start another great quest. It's just not a good time, with Gondorian New Year looming.

I hope that the doctor's appointment went well and that you are feeling better.
Your affectionate friend,

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


My Dearest Kendrah,

It certainly sounds like you had your hands full! Leggs has had a bit more experience with death since the whole Hero's Journey thing, but I would imagine a death in a reality not his own could be traumatic. Luckily you were there to help hime through a difficult time. Fortunately for me, Aragorn has not been as adventurous in reality jumping, tending to stay between this world and ME. OK, there is the occasional foray into Narnia, but that seems to be mostly intelligence gathering missions...he can't quite figure out why Aslan would leave four underage children in charge of a world so recently ruled by a evil, raging dictator and recovering from war. I shudder to think about their bookkeeping! Look how long it's taken me to get Gondor's treasury back in order!!!

I started reading the "Sex With Kings" book Kathryn got me for Christmas. It's really quite fascinating, and in a way, it is a bit of a "how to" manual. Not on the sex itself, but how to manage one's financial and social affairs when you are the King's favorite but not (yet!) his queen. I found the chapters on dealing rivals (particularly those of "better blood) to be quite
enlightening. Truly inspirational. I don't think I'll lend this one to Aragorn. No sense giving him any ideas. He can stick to Sharpe.

Speaking of Sharpe, I just order the next two books so I will soon be able to update the spreadsheet of his conquests. Aragorn just started the fourth book and seems to be enjoying them. He has expressed intereste in seeing the series, but I worry about trying to explain why Sharpe looks so much like Boromir, who, if you recall, we don't discuss. Anyway, he can stick to books. I did tell him we would watch "Goblet of Fire" together when it comes out on DVD. I've assure him there are no Dementors in this one, but he's still not keen on watching it alone.

BTW, I got a doctor's appointment for tomorrow, but unfortunately Dr. V. wasn't free so I'm seeing one of the others. We'll see how it turns out. My neck is still puffy, but oddly enough...nothing hurts. I'll let you know how it goes. Well, I have a pizza in the oven, laundry in the drier and a king looking for his slippers, so I really must be going! Have a good evening!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Spies of...Star Wars

My Dearest Corwynne,

I greatly enjoyed your telling of the Super Bowl party at your house. It sounds like it must have been great fun. I wish I could have come, but it is always so busy here and in the end, the next few days turned out to be quite trying, so it was good that I got so much done while Leggs was away.

You see, Leggs has been experimenting with cross reality jumping. He comes to reality and will watch a movie and if there is someone he thinks he might like to get to know in it, he will wait until the scene is about to change and he will pop on in and hang out with whoever isn't in the scene that is playing at the time. He found Star Wars was excellent for this since it has obvious scene transitions. It also piqued his interest when Sir Ian mentioned the spies of Star Wars while filming Fellowship.

Anyway, Leggs was watching Star Wars and felt an immediate kinship with Uncle Owen. He will pop in just after Luke whines about Tashie Station and the power converters and then he and Owen hang out until it is time for his next scene. Then Leggs comes home and rewinds the tape to go back at the same point. You see, he has never gotten to the part where Owen dies. He doesn't know.

Well, this might have gone on forever and Leggs may have never found out. But on February 9th Phil Brown died. And I didn't know what to do. Does the off scene character in a movie's personality change once the actor playing him dies? Will the character still be able to hang out with Leggs or is he essentially dead as well. I didn't know and I knew that Leggs would find out eventually and I had to figure a way to warn him. He has been so emotional since the time of the hearth, that I didn't know how he would react.

In the end I just flat out told him when he returned from the party. He took it like a Ranger. And after a short adjustment time he decided to see what had happened to the Owen he knew.

He says that there is a change and that, not only is Owen aware that his character dies in his next scene but he also knows that Phil Brown is dead as well. As it turns out, this incident just gives them more to talk about.

As you once said, "All's well that ends moderately ok."

Your Affectionate Friend,

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Go Stillers!

My Dearest Kendrah,

I had hoped to write sooner, but adoring throngs of fans here in the capitol of Steeler Nation are are causing as many traffic tie-ups on the Trans-Realities Highway as they are on the Ohio Turnpike.

Sunday was quite a day. As you know I was off engaging in heathen ritual Saturday night, so it was up to Aragorn to tidy the apartment. If he wanted to have a Superbowl Party, he had to be responsible for pre-game organizing and post-game clean-up. I was out late Saturday and he was gone when I came home, but the house was respectable. I had to get up early Sunday, and by the time I got out of bed at 7:30, Aragorn and the Sons had coffee made and a cheesy hash-brown thing baking. E & E are the true die-hard football fans and they wanted access to a TV early so they could catch all the pre-game. (Which in Steel City started sometime before dawn!)

I went off to my craft meeting where I practiced doing double crochet and copied out some Old English vocabulary. When I got home about 4:00, the party was in full swig....uh...swing. Elladon had figured out how to work the tap on the keg of ice cold Iron City shortly after I left and the modern mechanics of beer storage were fascinating to all! Gimli had the crockpot out and was making hot wild boar sausages (as expected, they're a bit gamier than the regular Italian kind). Elrohir was frying pierogie and Celeborn was artistically arranging a variety of cheeses on a platter, clutching my bottle of scotch!. Eomer snuck in half a keg of that Rohan ale that makes Leggs's fingers tingle. I think Leggs enjoyed himself, but I suspect all the shouting and Terrible Towel waving got on his nerves after a while.

In fact, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, even though it wasn't a great game. I had to explain "yinz" to Celeborn (subjective pronoun, 2nd person plural). Let me tell you, there are few things more disturbing than a tipsy, silver-haired Elf Lord belting out a chorus of "Here we Go Stillers" or asking the Sons "Yinz ok to drive?" This goes in the therapy journal.

Well, it's Tuesday morning and almost time for the Steeler's welcome home parade. I suspect I have a house full of Dunedain and Elves eating leftovers and watching the live coverage from the Point. Wonder if I can find a webcast here at work...

Your Affectionate Friend,