Wednesday, August 26, 2009


My Dearest Corwynne,

It has been so long since I have written, but I have a good excuse. Of course, it is all Leggs' fault, although he blames me. Let me explain.
Pennsic was going along, like it does. And we were having a lovely time, when suddenly and without explaination there was a party...IN OUR CAMP! Well, Leggs lost his mind. He knew that we were all saying the the unwritten camp rules no longer were in affect, but he figured that it was all just talk until there was a party...IN OUR CAMP!
In that moment, in Leggs' world up became down, black became white, day night, good get the idea. He spent the last few days of Pennsic living by no rules. He danced, he sang and acted a fool...and unlike in the past, I have no Legg's definition for these words, the regular definitions apply. It was lovely to see him let loose like that...
Then we came home....and he doesn't understand Vegas rules and thought that this behavior was appropriate here. For example, this morning he was cooking bacon in my kitchen assuming that I would now enjoy bacon, since there are no rules. Oh yeah, and he was naked.
So, as you can see, I have been very busy trying to get Leggs to behave a little better, especially in public. And it has become a full time job.
I hope that you and the King have had a more reasonable adjustment to regular life.

Your affectionate friend,

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Pennsic Preparations

My Dearest Kendrah,

Once again the summer has flown as swiftly as an eagle out of Mordor and I find Pennsic is only a few days away!

The King and I were sorry to hear that your fantasy was once again interrupted by unwelcome intruders from reality. Let us hope your little geek friend has learned his lesson this time and we will not be bothered by him in the future. In the meantime, The King is considering more stringent identity checks for folks visiting ME. What a pain! Like needing a passport to get into Canada! It's a shame that we must so closely guard the borders of imagination.

My summer so far has been relatively peaceful, the usual precollege fun (we just had Family Weekend)and I've been busily making the final audition schedules, revamping the schedule for next year, planning our faculty meeting.

Fortunately, this is the week where not much is happening at work and I'm in "hurry up and wait" mode until folks get me all the information they are supposed to be getting to me! We hates the waiting game! It's not a fun game at all! I'd rather be home sewing! I'm growing alarmed at the piles of cut out but not yet sewn toddler garb in my dining room. I think I'm going to take tomorrow off work and spend some quality time with my Bernina.

Meanwhile, the King has been busy gathering our camping equipment, repairing his SCA legal "weapons" and learning a few new drinking songs to share at the pub. He is really looking forward to War this year and hopes that he and Leggs can spend some quality fellowship time together. Faramir seems delighted that the King plans to be gone for a few weeks. Eowyn has been a bit too flirtatious for out liking recently.

Well, I should go and finish up my reports so I can home and start on the pile of sewing and maybe do some laundry! There's never a gay Orc around when you need one!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Thursday, June 18, 2009


My dearest Corwynne,

I am about to send off my monthly report to the Department of Middle Earth Secruity and I want to write to you at the same time as to avoid any alarm you might feel upon hearing rumors of the settlement coming out of those offices. Be assured that we are all safe and well. Now, on with the tale....

Shortly after returning from war practice I received a message telling me that it would behove me to head to the settlement. Obviously, a message like this peaked my curiosity and I headed on over. When I arrived at the home that Leggs and I share, I found it in great disarray. Of course, I share this home with an elf who can live in the woods for years on end without getting dirty, so when I say great dissarray, I mean the throw pillow on the couch was slightly off center. I immediatley began to search the settlement for Leggs.

After about twenty minutes I found several of the non separatist elvish elders who were willing to tell me what was going on. As I am sure you know already, there is a small faction of the elven leadership who are still hoping that Leggs will come to his senses and kick out all those of non elvish blood from the settlement. Apparently, they had found new energy in the shape of a new leader. Dalbit.

I had been hearing these rumors for a while, reported them, as I am required to do, to the DMES and laughed about them with Leggs. He and I are in no way conserned by these men and what they want because, when it comes right down to it, these lands which hold the settlement we part of the Grant of Arms that Leggs received for his part in the overthrow of the Dark Lord, and he has the right to have them removed whenever they become more dangerous than amusing.

Anyway, the elders told me that while we were away, Dalbit and some of his followers laid in wait at our home. When Leggs returned he was overpowered and was being held at one of the outlying building sites. They were under the impression that Leggs would be released unharmed, if I would go there and promise to remove myself and all non elves from the settlement.

Upon hearing this I headed off to the building site. There I found Leggs bound and gagged in a chair. He was, of course, impecably clean. Dalbit, as his captor, began to tell me the conditions for Leggs' release. It was very lucky that Leggs was paying very close attention to my facial expressions at this time, because at the very moment I began to laugh, he broke free of his bonds and knocked Dalbit unconsicous.

I continued to laugh for quite a while and Leggs dolled out one of his very rare smiles....this one had both sides of his mouth included! He told me that when he arrived home, he recognized Dalbit as Billingdalt aka Billy Dalton, even though he is much older now, and thought that it would be fun to let them take him prisioner until I arrived. I know it sounds like a strange thing to think of as fun, but he was right, it was.

Billy Billingdalt Dalbit Dalton has been banished once again, and the gate guards have new images of him to study so that maybe this time it will be for good. I have included the images in the DMES file so they can do the same in the White City. I don't believe that he is truly dangerous at this time, but they way Leggs keeps kicking his ass, he might get angry enough to become a serious problem.

So that ends that for now. In other news, I attended graduation ceremonies for both of the sons. Preschool and fifth grade are over. The youngest son is currently attending safety town and will graduate from it this weekend. Hopefully that will also be when he stops explaining to me the rules for driving up to a stop sign, because it is cute and also really annoying.

The sons are looking forward to the forbidden fishing trip and can't wait to see you in July, and I have to say that I am with them on that.

Give my best to the King

Your affectionate friend,

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Catching Up

My Dearest Kendrah,

Well, it has been quite month! Please forgive my lack of correspondence. Real world events and travel have severely impacted the amount of time I can spend in Imagination Land (as it is known in South Park).

Let's see...
First there was Beltane, and like any good Senior Druid, I volunteered to organize our auction. That venture took up most of the last week of April. The King pouted, but stayed out of my way as I organized donations, for which I am extremely grateful.

The following week I traveled to Arizona for a festival and the King tagged along. He seemed a bit disappointed that he didn't have to rescue me from a scorpion lurking in my shoe, but he seemed to enjoy himself anyway. He was quite entertained by the various storytellers who presented and got all weepy over his pipe and beer about how sad it is when people forget to pass on the lore of their ancestors.

Fast forward to War Practice which was ever so much more pleasant this year. Best weather in my memory! We didn't have to frighten the children with stories about how we would all die if the fire went out! Good friends, good food, good music. Huzzah to Gardner and his hurdy-gurdy! The King had a great time! He fought a bit, drank a bit more and even stuck around to go fishing with Lassair and the Sons. He was delighted when they caught their fish and wanted to make sure to invite them to our next picnic at Henneth Annun, as the fishing in the Forbidden Pool isn't quite so forbidden since the fall of You Know Who. I think it will be years before I could eat a fish that came from water where Gollum once swam, but that's just me...

I'm glad our PennMoot was so successful. Looks like we all have lots to do in the next two months! EEK! Two months!

Last weekend I was off to Wellspring. The King declined to join me. I think he's still freaked out by topless dancers around the fire from a few years ago. I very cleverly gave the King a copy of the Professor's latest publication, Sigurd and Gudrun, and he holed himself up in the library comparing skaldic poetry forms to the ancient texts of Numenor. I knew a good book would keep him occupied and safely out of Eowyn's...err...harm's way while I was gone.

My journeys for the moment are now ended. I plan to stay at home, reading poetry with the King, sewing and running PreCollege until it's time for Pennsic. I hope all is well with you and yours.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Eons of Silence

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am so sorry for my long silence. The past few months have taken me by surprise in their length and their lack of interesting events. My Great Matter has been solved...sort of. I know that I understand it has ended, however the other part seems to be taking the same stance as the secondary party in the original great matter...I just hope that things do not have a similar ending to the original.

Anyway, on to far more important things...Your Birthday!!! I just came home from your surprise party at the settlement. I am so sorry we had to use a ruse of a crisis with the dwarfs and the new gates for the White City to get you there, but you schedule is very hard to work around. The dress you were wearing does however, lead me to believe that you had an inkling...unless that is the sort of thing the future queen must wear while riding through the countryside on official business, but it seemed to be more of a party dress than a riding dress to us simple folk in the settlement. :)

I hope that you were surprise at least that all the shire folk were able to attend. I was very surprised that Elijah, Dom, Billy, and Sir Ian Sir Ian Sir Ian were there. There was much drama over whether or not they would be able to get the appropriate visa's needed by the Department of Middle Earth Security these days. They seem to be getting more and more strict as each age passes. I don't think the boats from the West could travel back now if they tried!

I am sure you noticed the lack of Orli. Things between him and Leggs are stressed again. And I must admit that I am partly to blame. Me and Ricky Gervais together. You see, I was watching Extras while I was stripping my kitchen floor while the sons were at their father's over Spring Break. Orli is the guest star in one episode and he is "acting" as if he is very self centered and can't believe it is possible for anyone to not find him attractive. He is also very hard on Johnny Depp. Well, Leggs was visiting at the time and he hit the roof.

Apparently, Orli and Leggs had an agreement that Leggs would tolerate him at official functions if he maintained an air of self respect in public. I explained that he was in fact acting in the show, simply doing his job. Leggs feels that just because he is an actor and it was a palantir box show doesn't mean he was acting at all. That Orli had broken their agreement by allowing the masses to see how he truly is. In the end, it was just best not to invite him, and no one seemed to be missing him.

One bit of reality news to share. My great grandfather has been mentioned in yet another book. This one is called In the Wake of the Butcher and amazingly has nothing what ever to do with the mafia! Apparently there was a serial killer in Cleveland in the 40's called the Cleveland Torso Murder and my great grandfather was the police sergeant who found severed head number four. So it looks like my love of the morbid could have been caused by some sort of genetic memory...probably not, but I'm gonna go with that anyway.

Well, with that, I hope you had a good time at the party and that you have a lovely birthday.

Your affectionate friend,

Friday, February 27, 2009

Christmas in Review

My Dearest Kendrah,

I was sitting here at work waiting for the show to start and remembering the lovely time we had at Christmas on Valentine's Day! I am so glad we were finally able to get together and share Yuletide joy and prezzies! It felt strange making pierogies in February, since they tend to be a December and July project, but I am quite pleased with how well they turned out. and our cake with cherry bits and pink icing was a joy! In fact the King has been pestering me for two weeks to make another one, but I've been so busy at work I just haven't had time. I promised I'd whip up another during spring break if he helps me clean the basement. We'll see how that goes.

I want to than you again for the prezzies. It's wonderful to have a bound collection of our correspondence. I'm sure our letters will quite helpful to historians in future years. I finally got my new little guys out of their boxes and into the china cabinet where they belong and they seem quite content in their new home. I have to remember to bring the giant bag of chocolate into work for the kiddies.

The King was quite impressed with your youngest Son's Orc slaying prowess. He has improved a great deal since the last time he was in my livingroom swinging a sword at the television. We were particularly pleased that has passed the Watcher in the Water level. I hear he has been practicing at home!

I've not see nmuch of the King since you left. He's spending a great deal of time pouting in the White City because I've been working so much. Fortunately, Eowyn is off visiting the Rohirric relatives so I don't have to worry any "comforting" going on! I've promised him that as soon as February ends, we can spend more time together. He's already making plans for War Practice!

Well, I should go balance my end of day reports or something. I hope all is well with you. We should plan to get together soon, maybe in an extra-reality location to avoid the issues of driving long distances!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Christmas on Valentine's Day

My Dearest Corwynne,

The Sons are so excited at the prospect of spending Valentine's Day opening Christmas presents, that they can hardly contain themselves. And I must admit, that I, too, am looking forward to the trip. If I can just find a way to pick up the rental car....

You see, much has happened here as well. Some of it cannot be put into this letter, for it might fall into the wrong hands and I have not made up my mind completely yet. But Leggs is over the moon with hope and has begun the "dwell with me" chant again. Luckily it is a muttering type of chant this time so I tune it out along with The Imagination Movers and Dora the Explorer. Time will tell what will come of "My Great Matter" and I will fill you in, in full when I can.

In news that can be freely sent into the world, the Jeep has died. And I will explain it's fate as I did for Leggs. The Jeep has fallen. The grief is near, but far enough to discuss. It is like Gandalf the Grey in Mordor. It is possible with enough faith (for our discussion faith=money) it will return like Gandalf the go sing a lament.

He accepted this and is now so busy, what with the chanting and lamenting that I have had several days of peace and quiet. He hopes that he will be recovered by the weekend because he is fascinated at how a celebration of a holy day can be randomly shifted by two months and can not wait to study it.

In still other news of my woe. On the day of the Jeep's death I also lost my dryer. Perhaps the dryer and the Jeep were having an affair and the one could not go on with out the other...perhaps not. Either way, I have no dryer and no car with which to get to one. Strange how clean socks can suddenly become so precious.

I wish I had things to write that were full of mirth, and perhaps one day I will, but this is not that day. But we are holding up admirably considering. One might even mistake us for British if they didn't listen to us talk. We shall overcome our woes and I am sure that this weekend will go a long way towards that goal.

See you soon,
You affectionate friend,

Monday, January 26, 2009

Catching Up

My Dearest Kendrah,

Well, time certainly has flown and much has transpired since last I wrote.

First off, the King and are were deeply disappointed that you and the Sons did not make in for New Year's RR (Reality Reckoning) this season. Curse the slippery roads that caused your accident and the fateful damage to your Jeep's under-carriage! The King muttered darkly about the storms at Caradhras and fell voices on the air, but I was able to assure him (I think, anyway) that not all ill-fortunes are are contrived by evil and unfriendly things and it that is was simply an accident. We were both relieved that you were not injured.

Sam (my brother, not the Hobbit) and I had a lovely time in North Carolina. Mostly I held little Vivian, changed diapers and fed her whenever possible. As you know, two week old babies are just fun to's those sneaky hormones!!! My sister in law and I had fun dressing her up in all of her "Baby's First Christmas" outfits. It was most enjoyable just sitting around watching movies, looking at old family photos and chatting. The King decided against joining us. He thought that Chris and Yvonne would have their full without the introduction of an imaginary boyfriend, so he spent the holidays with Eomer. The Rohirrim always throw the best Yule parties.

Since you were unable to join us for New Year's Eve, I went to my friend Alaric's for eating, drinking and watching the ball drop. It was a lovely time. Unfortunately I woke up the next morning with a sore throat and stuffy head. I thought all was well and it was a simple cold until two days later when it was determined I did indeed have a horrible case of the Plague (or at least a nasty, nasty, flu)

The King, having determined years ago that his "healing hands" are most effective on diseases caused by the fell breath of the Dark Lord, decided he would be better off returning to the White City and not risking his royal health with a Reality Plague. He was probably right. Eru knows what effect one of our plagues might have on the native populations of ME! Since I was sleeping about 20 hours a day, waking only to drink tea or have some soup, I didn't miss him too much. I am glad to say I am now mostly recovered, but this particular plague has quite the staying power!

Work has already been busy this semester, with an opera last weekend, Playground this weekend, and a pile of shows opening the week after.February is quite a busy month for me, but March will slow down a bit before the end of term craziness of April.

The King and I are looking forward to your visit in February. The unopened gifts in my living room look so sad and lonely! The King is planning to stop our bardic circle that Friday night, and hope you can make it too. Did you realize the weekend we chose for our late-Christmas was Valentine's Day? Maybe I'll make a pink or something to add to the festivities. The King doesn't much go in for Valentine's Day, but the Sons might enjoy a holiday theme.

Well, I must be off. Looking forward to seeing you soon!

Your Affectionate Friend,