Thursday, October 26, 2006

Reality Bites!

My Dearest Corwynne,
I haven't written in a while, because I have very little to say. As I said in my last letter, I have decided to stay clear of the settlement until the sewing is over. This has left me with very little to focus my thoughts on...or at least very little that is fun.
I thought I would take you advise and visit Minas Tirith, but sadly that didn't quite work out. I had never tried to jump directly to the White City before. In the past I always started in the settlement and took a more conventional method of transport from there. It turns out that I can't just jump anywhere else, or things aren't right. It was a lot like a Salvador Dali painting. So I jumped back. Luckily, that didn't seem to be a problem.
So it looks like I am stuck in reality until November. It is my bed. I made it. I will lie in it. Sigh

Your affectionate friend,

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Catching up

My Dearest Kendrah,

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve written! Apparently time flies just as quickly when you’re NOT having fun! Our first show closed last Saturday, and just as I thought things would settle down a bit at work, tragedy struck in the form of a particular insidious virus that forces my work computer to provide me with pop-ups every five minutes or so. We’ve been trying to solve this issue for three days now. I am happy to say we are getting close, but, alas, we may need to resort to a total mind sweep to alleviate the problem. At least we should be able to rescue all my files. I don’t understand it! I practice safe computing! I don’t click when it says “Click here to win a free IPod”! I report spoof email to eBay! I don’t download the file that claims it will save my marriage and career by erasing the all the adult sites I visit! It’s not fair!!! Granted it could be worse. My favorite uncle (Joe, not Dick) never left me a magic ring that sent me on a quest to save the World That Is while he sat smoking pipeweed in Dwarf-town, but all the same, it’s quite frustrating!

Almost as frustrating as Rick Santorum and his Mordor quote. My mailbox has been flooded for days with folks filling me in. Today I even got an email from RS’s opponent, Bob Casey. I suspect it wasn’t from Bob personally, but it was still pretty amusing. As my brother says, we should rejoice at any mention of LotR in the media. He’s probably right. And I truly enjoyed Stephen Colbert’s attempt to explain the situation using his little guys. Check it out on YouTube if you get a chance.

Speaking of Aragorn, today is Viggo’s birth and Aragorn decided we should pop in for a surprise visit. Viggo took it all in stride. We sat around for a bit, drank some beer and he and Aragorn exchanged war stories. It was fairly entertaining, a peaceful laid-back couple of hours with old friends. They promised each other they would each take some time to get back to writing poetry, sang a few songs in Sindarin, and Aragorn and I went on our way. He even helped me carry in my groceries! (Aragorn, that is). He offered to help me make cheese cake and chop vegetables for the dinner I’m going to on Sunday. I think he can tell I’ve been stressed out recently so he being extra attentive. And I just got X-Men 3 from Netflix and if he sticks around long enough he’ll get a chance to watch it…if Faramir doesn’t have some crisis that requires the royal presence in the White City.

At least you’re exile from the Settlement will be ending in couple of weeks. If you’re bored at home, feel free to pop over to Minis Tirith. You can check out the new Easterling exhibit in the museum. It’s fascinating!

Well, I think I’m off to bed, or to watch X-Men….I’ll see what kind of mood the king is in. Hope all is well and you haven’t flooded out! Take care!

Your Affectionate Friend,

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Bored to Tears

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am currently only receiving reports from Leggs about the bustle of activity in the settlement. You see, the other day, the elves realized that I know how to sew and tried to convince me to join them. I high tailed it back to reality in a millisecond.
A few days later they sent Leggs to try and convince me that I would enjoy the social atmosphere that is created when many beings get together and sew. He even tried to compare their sewing group to the belly kitchen. After that I booted him back to the settlement and told him that if he ever dared to besmirch the belly kitchen this way again we would have a problem.
I think he may finally understand that I would rather be flayed slowly while giving birth than put another needle to cloth again.
Of course, now I can't go back to the settlement until the night of the show. This has left me with nothing of interest to do, cleaning and taking care of children have left me quite bored, but it is a small price to pay. And at least the house will be very clean for the foreseeable future.

Your affectionate friend,

Friday, October 06, 2006

Busy, Busy, Busy...

My Dearest Kendrah,

It seems that the Settlement is bustling with activity in the aftermath of the flooding. I'm so pleased we were able to overcome this crisis as it bodes well for our futures in fantasy.

Our first main show of the season opened tonight and it does not seem to be an audience favorite. When you lose a fifth to a quarter of your audience after act one, something must be going wrong. Oh well, at least the lines at box office aren't too long! Last night was quite an adventure, suffice it to say I was overjoyed to find a bottle of wine waiting for me when I got home. I found out at noon that we were adding 11 seats to the theater for a show that previewed that night at 8 pm. It took me until after 8 to figure out how to make the computer accept this turn of was not being very supportive. But I figured it out all by myself! Look how smart I am.

Then, about 4:30, we discovered the center page of the program was stapled backards so we spent the next several hours unstapling, flipping the page and re-stapling. "What did you do in college? I stapled programs!" Anyway, the students were good sports about it and I've promised them pizza tomorrow. Saturdays are pizza days here in the box office! it's a time-honored tradition dating back to last January. It's a fairly reasonable substitution for "Box Office Movie Fridays",

At least the king realized that I was having a no good, terrible, very bad day and surprised me with the thoughful gift of alcohol. He even stuck around to watch the last episode of Battlestar Galactica, season two, with me. He's not a huge Sci-Fi fan, but he doesn't mind an occasional BG episode. I think he has a TV crush on Starbuck, but it seems to be fleeting and not very serious. I don't I need to worry about any reality jumping to New Caprica in the near future.

I will be happy to pop over to the fashion show with you, but I'm wondering if we'll be able to drag the king away from the party to attend with us. I suppose I could tell him it's an official sort of thing...or get him drunk early. But I don't suppose the Elves would react well to a drunken Man heckling their new garb. I guess we'll play it by ear.

Well, the show is about to let out, so I should go before the audience comes flying out of the theater. Hope all is well.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Orc Sewing

My Dearest Corwynne,

It has been a while since I last wrote. What with all the flood clean up and now the flurry of sewing that is being undertaken, the settlement is bustling with activity.

There is no stranger sight in all of Middle Earth than an elf standing upon a chair calmly having his inseam measured by an orc. Orcs and sewing. They seem to go together like elephants and ice skating, but they do seem to be catching on. I think once they have finished all the clothes that the settlement has ordered they might have the hang of it. It probably would have been wise to have them practice on something before we gave them the silks, but elves and their clothes, you know.

The planned fashion show is still in the works, despite the fact that many of the outfits my leave their wearer's nude before they reach the end of the run way, or maybe that is why the plans have become more elaborate in the past few days. At the current rate of production, we are expecting to hold the show on the same weekend as the Samhain party. I figure we can skip over to it together. The invitations are being printed now, a bit late, and you should receive yours soon.

With all the sewing, everyone seems to have forgotten their woes about the floods and the settlement has become as pleasant as it gets.

I am glad you finally found the time to take our camping trip. It is good that I was right about your having a good time, all that build up over the years and all.

In closing I would just like you to take a moment and imagine Orcs draped in silks while trying to hand sew leggings. It is the most amusing sight!

Your Affectionate Friend,