My Dearest Corwynne,
You know that I have been trying to facilitate some sort of less than hostile relationship between the elves in the West and myself, or anyone of lesser (ie human) birth. I think that I may have blown it. Yesterday I was in reality, surf the interwebs, when I saw a birth announcement and I thought that I had seen a golden opportunity....I immediately sent out a congratulatory basket with many gifts that a new mother should not be without, hoping that mine would be the best and the first to arrive.
Sadly, it was the only one to arrive, because it appears that I was the only one who didn't bother to continue reading....it was not Gladders who had a baby, but Cate Blachett....But seriously, with a name like Ignatius Martin how was I expected to know. I mean, yes, I know that Gladders is well past the age that anyone, even an elf should even consider having a child, but she has always gone against the grain, and I was just so excited that this was an opportunity to quell some of her hatred toward me.
So, my package was returned. It's contents were now nothing but ash. There was a note attached which simply read "Forward to Cate Blachett" So I think I have screwed this up past the point of rescue, and I must say, knowing that there is no chance has sort of made me feel better about everything.
I am very excited for the chance to work with the SCYSM. I would love to sit on the board. Please let me know when the first meeting will be.
Please thank the King for all of his concern over the education of the eldest son. It is very helpful to have royalty on your side.
I must go now and explain the basket in the shape of a baby carriage filled with ash to Leggs. I don't think he is going to be pleased.
Your affectionate friend,