Thursday, August 31, 2006

Anyone Wanna Play Golf?

My Dearest Corwynne,

I am so pleased that you found some of the writings of Leggs and the King. I was starting to think they might have managed to keep them hidden from us. I know it is highly unlikely, but sometimes I worry needlessly. Who knew they actually paid attention to the things we say. I suppose we may need to be more careful in the future.

In other news, today was the longest day of my life. I believe it lasted 67.4 years. My father and I marshaled a local golf tournament, complete with all the edge of your seat standing and holding of the "quiet please" signs. It was a rollercoaster ride of excitement. I say this sarcastically, of course. However things did get interesting around the fourth hour of standing when who should arrive but Leggs. He watched quietly for a while, but after some time I began to notice he had that look on his face that he used to get when my ex-husband held fighter practice at our house. I am sure you know the one I mean. The cross between confusion and exasperation.

Well, after a while he decided that even though the players where performing poorly that the game was too easy and that it was up to him to add a bit of difficultly to it. He climbed a nearby tree (of course) with his bow in hand. For the next several hours whenever anyone was about to land a putt, he deftly shot an arrow at it causing the ball to miss by the narrowest of margins. I think his enjoyment of his addition to the sport was greatly heightened by the fact that professional golfers are big babies when ever they miss an easy shot. They threw balls, clubs and insults. This made my enjoyment of the day skyrocket also. So I guess all was well in the end.

The only thing that would have made my day even better would have been if I could have been forced to do some sewing at the same time. Cause you know how much I love to sew.

Anyway, hope all is well in the White City. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


My Dearest Kendrah,

I was delighted to have a letter waiting for me when I returned home on Sunday. All in all, it was a lovely weekend, though I stayed up far too late on both Friday and Saturday nights singing. And, alas, I still have the post-Pennsic plague!

I finally got to some of the laundry and as usual, the king left me with all his dirty garb. My, he once again left all his Pennsic notes tucked away in his belongings. I think he was trying to be a bit more tricksey this year. Rather than a formal journal, I located several pages of notes hidden in various locations. I will transcribe the notes as best I can. I am interested in any insight you might be able to provide.

Your Affectionate Friend,

Note #1 (found in a pair of blue wool socks with a hole in the toe)

It is an event like Pennsic that illustrates how our backgrounds in different realities have influenced our thought patterns. Things that the ladies find “disturbing” seem perfecting ordinary to me, whereas they seem unconcerned by numerous outlandish activities and events that make me question the sanity of these lesser men. I have keeping a list of these activities, events etc, in hopes that Legolas, our ladies and I will have an opportunity to discuss them at a future date. I hope our notes on various subjects will be useful to others attempting the sort of reality jumping to we are quite accustomed.

Things the Ladies claim happen at Pennsic, but no where else in their reality.

1. You can carry on a conversation with a gentle who has his eyes closed, and not bother to ask that person if he is “OK”. (Maybe it’s my Ranger training and rather dangerous but romantic past, but it seems perfectly logical to take rest where you can get it. And it’s far less creepy than that disturbing Elf habit of sleeping with their eyes open! )

2. It is appropriate to be disappointed when you do NOT achieve a desired alcohol black out. (What’s so inappropriate about a good alcohol blackout? (a GOOD one mind you, not the kind where you wake up in the morning next to an Uruk!) Eru knows I’ve dragged Merry and Pippin to bed often enough after one of their binges...)

3. Hearing the quote “I’m very good at thrown weapons.”

I hesitate to include the following observations, as they seem too crude to attribute to our ladies and not something for polite company, but for the sake of future reality jumpers:

4. It is appropriate to walk into a little booth on the side of the road and “drop the kids off at the pool”, “release the hounds”, “give Mr. John his due” (add your own euphemism here), all the while continuing your conversation with friends who are standing right outside waiting for you to finish. (Some modern folk are so squeamish about bodily functions! Of course, where I come from we don’t talk about that sort of thing...ever...)

5. Apparently, Pennsic is the only place in the world where they have to constantly remember to roll up they’re sleeves when “wiping”. (Wiping???)

Friday, August 25, 2006

Journal Jangles

My Dearest Corwynne,

I know that you will not receive this for several day since you are on yet another camping trip, but I figured it would be nice for you to have a letter waiting for you when you got home.

Mostly I just wanted to let you know that I have finished unpacking all of Leggs' things both here and in the settlement and there was no sign of the journal. I think the King must have kept it. I hope you can take a peak, because I am very curious as to their observations.

Even though I did not find the journal, I found an alarming amount of jangles from various belly dancing costumes. I realize that I should be worried that he has had numerous affairs with many belly dancers, but I am actually more concerned that they are his. Oh well.

Your affectionate friend,

Sunday, August 20, 2006


My Dearest Corwynne,

Another Pennsic ends, and for the first time in more years than I care to count, I no longer feel that this is a stupid hobby. I had more fun this year than any person who is supposed to be a responsible parent should be allowed. And after a few instances of sleeping while the kids snuck out of the tent and almost loosing the baby to the flesh eating trees you fear so, I think that I am a forerunner for the World's Worst Mother award. I should recieve notification soon.

The TV-Boyfriend situation took an interesting turn during Pennsic. You and I both knew this was a temporary thing but TV-B is another fan of eternity. I thought of breaking it off before Pennsic, but he was so looking forward to going that I didn't have the heart. An event where everyone(well almost everyone) stays up very late was very appealing to him. Things were going fine until TV-B asked me why Leggs had said that he was sorry to hear about our break-up. I decided to bite the bullet and tell him that I had intended to end things once we got home, but since he knew now we might as well end it. He took it pretty well. He cried a bit, but then asked for some Scotch, pulled himself together and went off to find the belly dancer he had seen a few nights earlier that he said he thought looked "yummy". It looks like we even might be able to hang out from time to time.

I am upset with Leggs and his manipulation of the situation, but since he is upset because I was always going out with "the loud one and the Hound Dog singer" I figure I can let it slide. He even said that he and the king kept a journal together this year which chronicled their observation and conversations that they heard. I will try and ferret it out if Leggs brought it here and I was hoping you might do the same. I think it would be an interesting read.

Well the bag of Laundry just sprouted legs and is asking to be washed, so I must go see if I can still work one of those new fangled washing machines.

Your affectionate friend,

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Pennsic Here We Come!

My Dearest Kendrah,

Just a quick not to let you know that all is on schedule for our vacation. PreCollege is over at last! We almost had a trauma yesterday when the ice cream for our farewell ice cream social got delayed due to a storm in Vermont and we had to start 45 minutes late. Fortunately, the students used the time constructively, crying and taking pictures of each other.

Your son's evaluation forms from my other summer program are in the mail, and they will not disappoint! As I suspected, both Aragron and Mithrandir were most impressed. Mithrandir says he plans to keep an eye...two eyes when he can spare them...on your son. I wanted to warn you, since little folk G. has his eye on tend to wind up going on "adventures". Just in case, your son may want to start keeping a well-supplied backpack handy!!

I'm busy with last minute cooking and packing. Aragorn says I worry too much. I got the "I made it half way to Mount Doom with nothing but the clothes on my back and my trusty bow" speech. Sure things turned out ok in the end, but the road to Mordor would have been much more comfortable with a five-day cooler, a propane stove and a case of Anchor Steam (the forbidden beer!) And we all know how disappointed my king would be if he showed up to Pennsic and there were no pierogies or morning coffee!

Well, I must be off. Time to put the laundry in the dryer and stir the spaghetti sauce. I will see you on the morrow! Until then, namarie!

Your Affectionate Friend,

PS...listened to Screwtape again while doing last-minute mending. He's still as fascinating (and tempting!) as ever!