My Dearest Corwynne,
Last night Leggs and I were watching the election coverage. Figuring there were hours left before it would be called I figured it would be safe to flip to Comedy Central, which is what we were watching when the announcement came. Luckily, for me, the comedy didn't end there.
Of course we were very happy with the outcome. Leggs had been re-reading the Handmaid's Tale in preparation for another republican win, so I am sure you can imagine our relief. Anyway, shortly after the announcement there was a bit about who would be running in 2012, at which point Leggs suggested that you and I should take a stab at it. Once I realized he wasn't joking, it just got funnier.
He began citing our foreign relations experience, with the taming of the orcs and the trade agreements with the Easterlings. Then on to our executive experience....your re-orginization of the White City, my experience in building an integrated community from the ground up. Then he got very serious and said that he hoped I would not be offended by the fact that he thought it would be best if you were the top of the ticket instead of me.
I assured him that I was not offended and that he would be correct. Your imaginary executive experience is far more extensive than mine. I couldn't help but laugh, he was so very sincere. But you know that my policy in dealing with imaginaries is to always tell them the truth in the hope that they could one day full intergrate into reality...a fruitless hope in Leggs case, I fear.
So I tried. I reminded him of the Obama/Aryes connection. That our connections, and in many ways, the fact that we are who we are would not be appealing to the voters. Not only is my best friend a druid, but also my running mate...not going to fly. I reminded him how Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain did lots of campaigning...I don't think many people would show up for campaign events where the speaker doesn't actually exsist.
Then I explained that even if we could get the voters to accept these things as normal, I doubted that these writing which, as it turns out, are very easy to find would be printed in newspapers as a testament to our deep seeded psychosis. I tried to explain, that even when people that I know discover these writings my heart pounds in terror that they will not see this as two women with healthy imaginations and extra time on there hands.
By the end of the night I thought I had gotten through to him. He went back to the settlement and I went to bed. This morning, however, I discovered that his plan will not be foiled by logic or facts. I came into my living room to discover that while in the settlement, he had gotten everyone together to start making campaign signs.
I think I will wait a few days before I tackle the point that "S&M in '12" is only going to appeal to a small portion of the voting public. I just don't have the strength today.
Your affectionate friend,
PS. A druid and an atheist enter an election....