Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Bad Ideas

My Dearest Kendrah,

We too were discussing the hideousness of the "Animal Farm-The Musical."

We were able to come up several other adaptations we think would be as bad, if not worse.
Sticking with George Orwell, there's "1984." We might as well include include "A Clockwork Orange" and "A Brave New World."

What about musical versions of TV favorites? "V" featuring songs like Are you Gonna Eat that Guinea Pig? and My Baby's Mamma is a Mammal. Or "X-Files" with the rousing tap-dance sequence Smoking Man and the touching power ballad, Spooky was Right, I Believe.

My personal favorite is a musical adaptation of "The Lion in Winter." Picture it, Henry wakes up in bed withh his 16 year old mistress and sings the jolly Just Another Christmas in Chignon. "Let the queen out of the tower, taunt the boys with dreams of power, sweet Alais is looking sour, it's just another Christmas in Chignon!"

Eleanor of course will have a number of brassy solos including Bare-Breasted in Damascus and the unforgetable I'd Hang You From the Nipples But You'd Scare the Children.

And who could forget the touching love ballad Every Road in Hell sung by Richard and Philip in the imfamous tapestry scene. Henry, after disinheriting the boys, does a beauful reprise of that number alone on the battlements. It brings a tear to my eye. And the fight choreography during the We All Have Knives, We're Barabarians number is not to be missed.

Of course it will all end happily. Henry and Eleanor reconcile and retire to the Aquitaine, Richard and Philip marry uniting France and England, Alais realizes that, pimples aside, it is John she's loved all along, and Geoffrey finds comfort in a brimming bowl of wassail and a lusty kitchen wench. A reprise of Christmas in Chignon sends the audience out into the night full of more Christmas cheer than a redemed Scrooge and humming a merry tunes on their way.

OK...must stop now...I scared myself!

Your Affectionate Friend,

1 comment:

Magdalene said...

How about the "I've Got Those Bare Breasted Sunstroke Blues" as a running theme. At times it changes for John into "I've Got Those Old and Boring Lack Land Blues" which segues for Alais into "I"ve Got those He's Old Yet Royal Lover Blues". She also can sing "Never Trust a Queen Who's Been Too Long In A Tower".

I was hoping to read about what the boys thought of the Cold Moon party and if they ejoyed the imaginary Russian Imperial Stout.