My Dearest Corwynne,
It has been many years since I first wondered who won the killing contest between Leggs and Gimli. Now, thanks to the wonders of modern technology and the fact that I have no life, the results are in.
I got the computer game “The Battle for Middle Earth” for Christmas and I have been enjoying playing it ever since. I just completed my first campaign and the program actually keeps track of your kills for each character. (Leggs hates it when I call him a character.)
Drumroll please…..Legolas is the clear winner with 3,530 kills. This information does not surprise me. What does surprise me is the second place winner….Gandalf with 3,200. Gimli is a distant third with 1,423. Needless to say, Gimli is not amused. He is not terribly upset by losing to Leggs, I think he kind of expected that, but to lose to the wizard who he has heard me complain about so often (remember the days of my "I want a better wizard.” Chant?) has him clamoring for a rematch.
My plan is to play the campaign again on the next difficulty level. I will also try and put Gimli into the fray a bit more. I think the programers don’t know him the way I do and would allow him to stand by when others fight, which is not the Gimli I know.
In other computer LOTR news, I was playing the other day while on the phone with He Who is Hated By Elves aka Rook. He was very amused by my attempts to get Merry and Theoden to level ten prior to their arrival at the Black Gate. He suggested that I let them reach the level when they got there. In the end I tried that with Theoden, but Merry had to be at level 10 ahead of time because I had a feeling the things were going to go badly for the hobbits at the Black Gate. I was right. In the end I had to hide Merry and Pippin (the hobbit not the dog) in a corner and hope that the Oliphonts didn’t trample them. They seemed ok with that. They just stood there saying “I never should have come here.” (Merry) and asking “Can I have some bacon?” (Pippin)
In the end, Middle Earth was saved and all the hero survived...including Boromir and Theoden. Sadly, Theoden never reached level ten. When he finally goes to the Halls of His Fathers, I am sure they will pick on him for it.
So it seems that I have successfully brought the fantasy people into reality with me and tormenting them in both realms….
Your affectionate friend,