My Dearest Kendrah,
I must say I was terribly disturbed by your last post, and Aragorn is furious!
When he first read your letter he paced around shouting stuff about "Servant of the Shadow" and "Sounds like something Dolores Umbridge would invent" and "This is the kind of thing that made me want to butcher those singing pigs!" When he tired of that, he slumped enigmatically in the corner, smoking his pipe and muttering in in that quiet but deadly way of his "You have drawn far too much attention to yourself, Mr. Dalton!"
I tried to explain to him that human male teenagers were often troublemakers and he probably didn't mean any harm and maybe it was a cry for help. I was then treated to Mr. Serious's account of how he spent his teenage years. Unfortunately for Mr. Dalton, Aragorn decided the boy should be taught a lesson and sent a few bored ex-Rangers to have a "chat" with him. I can't wait to see the headlines on that!
Aragorn also plans to visit the settlement and have a "chat" of his own with the Elders. He is quite an advocate of free speech (which seems a bit strange coming from a Divine Right Monarch, but he's a bit of a rebel).
He is also reconsidering Sam's suggestion that we institute some sort of Gondorian National ID card. In a kingdom where the majority of the populace is illiterate, I don't see that will do much good. I imagine he'll calm down eventually. But I see that my idea of a census is more imperative than ever. Perhaps we will need to issue some sort of Visitor's Visa for those wishing to spend more than a few hours in our fantasy world.(That Artemis Fowl book is giving all sorts of ideas!) Honestly! If you want to cause trouble start your own fantasy!
Sadly, I must be off. We have three shows still to come today and I promised Aragorn I'd have dinner with him. I'll talk to you soon!
Your Affectionate Friend,