My Dearest Kendrah,
All I can say is that the king is definitely NOT amused by your choice of TV boyfrind. Legolas' letter arrived just the other day and I was able to intercept it before the Aragorn had a chance to read it, so I was able to break the news to him gently. He seems to take that kind of news from me fairly well, having dealt with my fleeting infatuations with Lt. Sharpe, Samson and that inexplicable crush I had on Ken Jennings, "Jeopardy" Champion. I must say, as gentle as I was, he is still quite distressed. You know what a hard-ass he is when it comes to Creatures of Darkness! It was a hour of ranting about the rising Shadow blah, blah, blah...
I finally showed him a picture and he grudging admits he can understand the attraction. (I'm trying not to be concerned by that!) He also approved of your fling's choice of outerwear and asked if maybe you could get the address of his tailor. BUT, he still doesn't think it's a good idea to get too involved. Like we'd take relationship advice from him after the way he handled the whole Arwen situation!
After talking it over though, he has agreed to take any silly heroic steps to come between you and your latest infatuation or try and save the world again. He will not however, assure the safety of TV boyfriend should he set foot in the Realm. Those Southern Rangers can be awfully trigger happy at times. He plans to ask Leggs out for a guys weekend where he will try to explain to your Elf that like the Shadow, this is a passing thing, and how they most must indulge out little fantasies once in a while. After all, where would THEY be without our little fantasies???
I do hope that the situation can resolve itself in a reasonable manner and Leggs will learn to see reason. Alas, the Eldar are not known for displaying much common sense when it comes to affairs of the heart!
Otherwise, all is well. The semester is over and I hope to have more free time, at least until PreCollege starts! Hope all is well with you and yours! Happy Mother's Day!
Your Affectionate Friend,