My Dearest Kendrah,
Well, it has been a while since I’ve written. As you know, it is the policy of the Crown not to comment on pending legal actions, and so I have had to be quite circumspect in our conversations over the past few months. Now that everything is settled, my representatives have agreed that I can discuss the unfortunate events of the past summer freely. It won’t get me a guest spot on Jon Stewart like South Carolina First Lady Jenny Sanford and her new book, but believe me, the Gondorian tabloids are having a field day!
Let me back up a bit. In the weeks before Pennsic I was, as usual, busy dealing with the end of Pre-College, packing, and cooking, not to mention all those last minute items Faramir always comes up with right before the King and I are about to head off on vacation. I swear he does it deliberately! Anyway, there I am in the Tower Library with the Steward inspecting the new pipe smoking lounge we’ve constructed (far away from ancient, priceless and irreplaceable manuscripts), when we heard a terrible a ruckus in the yard. Up through gates come the Sons (Elladan and Elrohir, not your boys) riding like bats out of Angband!
We bolted down the stairs to find Elrond’s boys in a conversation with the King using some of the most “indelicate” Elven words I’ve ever heard. You haven’t heard swearing until you’ve heard a couple of High Elves cursing like sailors! The King gives us one of those imperial waves of his and Faramir and I follow the three of them into Elessar’s private study (Man-cave). The King calls for ale so I get everyone a drink, get the Son’s out of their cloaks and sitting down and they start in on the story. Now I love a good story and a good Elvish story is even better (Sometimes I have Bilbo moments) but they were talking really fast apparently forgetting that some of us in the room we not native speakers of Sindarin. Eventually, Faramir and I pieced together the saga and it’s not pretty.
It seems that Arwen (the King’s Elf-ex, not the child) had returned from her imposed “rest” in a secure, private facility, and decided to spend the summer with Grandma. Now, we know how Gladders feels about me, so you can imagine the conversations the two of them had. After a few months with the Elf-Witch, Arwen appears in Rivendell and spends several weeks loudly announcing to anyone who would listen that she won’t stand this treatment any longer. She followed the Sons around trying to get them tell her WHY the King broke up her, and when they wouldn’t cough up anything useful, she took whining to any Elf or random Ranger she could find. Rangers are really good at keeping secrets when it comes to Rings and Dark Lords and such, but they love good old-fashioned domestic gossip! You know how rumors get started. The Rivendell press corp has always been very good to me (Thanks to Elrond!), but that trashy rag the Eldar Anor picked up the story. Next thing you know, it’s worse than Brangelina and Jen. Splattered all over the front pages are stories about the poor Elven Princess and how badly she’s been treated by these horrid Men!
The Sons had had enough of her whining and were packing their bags to spend a few years in Mirkwood when they heard the news. It seems Arwen had decided to sue the King and I! Yes, that’s right, SUE! They hurriedly changed their plans and headed for the White City instead to warn us.
Drat! I have to go! The King is shouting something about Snowpocalypse and telling me I need to come and watch the storm warnings on the Palantir Box. Ugh! He probably just needs more coco. I promise to continue my tale soon.
Your Affectionate Friend,
Corrwynne
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Readjusting
My Dearest Corwynne,
It has been so long since I have written, but I have a good excuse. Of course, it is all Leggs' fault, although he blames me. Let me explain.
Pennsic was going along, like it does. And we were having a lovely time, when suddenly and without explaination there was a party...IN OUR CAMP! Well, Leggs lost his mind. He knew that we were all saying the the unwritten camp rules no longer were in affect, but he figured that it was all just talk until there was a party...IN OUR CAMP!
In that moment, in Leggs' world up became down, black became white, day night, good bad...you get the idea. He spent the last few days of Pennsic living by no rules. He danced, he sang and acted a fool...and unlike in the past, I have no Legg's definition for these words, the regular definitions apply. It was lovely to see him let loose like that...
Then we came home....and he doesn't understand Vegas rules and thought that this behavior was appropriate here. For example, this morning he was cooking bacon in my kitchen assuming that I would now enjoy bacon, since there are no rules. Oh yeah, and he was naked.
So, as you can see, I have been very busy trying to get Leggs to behave a little better, especially in public. And it has become a full time job.
I hope that you and the King have had a more reasonable adjustment to regular life.
Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah
It has been so long since I have written, but I have a good excuse. Of course, it is all Leggs' fault, although he blames me. Let me explain.
Pennsic was going along, like it does. And we were having a lovely time, when suddenly and without explaination there was a party...IN OUR CAMP! Well, Leggs lost his mind. He knew that we were all saying the the unwritten camp rules no longer were in affect, but he figured that it was all just talk until there was a party...IN OUR CAMP!
In that moment, in Leggs' world up became down, black became white, day night, good bad...you get the idea. He spent the last few days of Pennsic living by no rules. He danced, he sang and acted a fool...and unlike in the past, I have no Legg's definition for these words, the regular definitions apply. It was lovely to see him let loose like that...
Then we came home....and he doesn't understand Vegas rules and thought that this behavior was appropriate here. For example, this morning he was cooking bacon in my kitchen assuming that I would now enjoy bacon, since there are no rules. Oh yeah, and he was naked.
So, as you can see, I have been very busy trying to get Leggs to behave a little better, especially in public. And it has become a full time job.
I hope that you and the King have had a more reasonable adjustment to regular life.
Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Pennsic Preparations
My Dearest Kendrah,
Once again the summer has flown as swiftly as an eagle out of Mordor and I find Pennsic is only a few days away!
The King and I were sorry to hear that your fantasy was once again interrupted by unwelcome intruders from reality. Let us hope your little geek friend has learned his lesson this time and we will not be bothered by him in the future. In the meantime, The King is considering more stringent identity checks for folks visiting ME. What a pain! Like needing a passport to get into Canada! It's a shame that we must so closely guard the borders of imagination.
My summer so far has been relatively peaceful, the usual precollege fun (we just had Family Weekend)and I've been busily making the final audition schedules, revamping the schedule for next year, planning our faculty meeting.
Fortunately, this is the week where not much is happening at work and I'm in "hurry up and wait" mode until folks get me all the information they are supposed to be getting to me! We hates the waiting game! It's not a fun game at all! I'd rather be home sewing! I'm growing alarmed at the piles of cut out but not yet sewn toddler garb in my dining room. I think I'm going to take tomorrow off work and spend some quality time with my Bernina.
Meanwhile, the King has been busy gathering our camping equipment, repairing his SCA legal "weapons" and learning a few new drinking songs to share at the pub. He is really looking forward to War this year and hopes that he and Leggs can spend some quality fellowship time together. Faramir seems delighted that the King plans to be gone for a few weeks. Eowyn has been a bit too flirtatious for out liking recently.
Well, I should go and finish up my reports so I can home and start on the pile of sewing and maybe do some laundry! There's never a gay Orc around when you need one!
Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne
Once again the summer has flown as swiftly as an eagle out of Mordor and I find Pennsic is only a few days away!
The King and I were sorry to hear that your fantasy was once again interrupted by unwelcome intruders from reality. Let us hope your little geek friend has learned his lesson this time and we will not be bothered by him in the future. In the meantime, The King is considering more stringent identity checks for folks visiting ME. What a pain! Like needing a passport to get into Canada! It's a shame that we must so closely guard the borders of imagination.
My summer so far has been relatively peaceful, the usual precollege fun (we just had Family Weekend)and I've been busily making the final audition schedules, revamping the schedule for next year, planning our faculty meeting.
Fortunately, this is the week where not much is happening at work and I'm in "hurry up and wait" mode until folks get me all the information they are supposed to be getting to me! We hates the waiting game! It's not a fun game at all! I'd rather be home sewing! I'm growing alarmed at the piles of cut out but not yet sewn toddler garb in my dining room. I think I'm going to take tomorrow off work and spend some quality time with my Bernina.
Meanwhile, the King has been busy gathering our camping equipment, repairing his SCA legal "weapons" and learning a few new drinking songs to share at the pub. He is really looking forward to War this year and hopes that he and Leggs can spend some quality fellowship time together. Faramir seems delighted that the King plans to be gone for a few weeks. Eowyn has been a bit too flirtatious for out liking recently.
Well, I should go and finish up my reports so I can home and start on the pile of sewing and maybe do some laundry! There's never a gay Orc around when you need one!
Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Interloper
My dearest Corwynne,
I am about to send off my monthly report to the Department of Middle Earth Secruity and I want to write to you at the same time as to avoid any alarm you might feel upon hearing rumors of the settlement coming out of those offices. Be assured that we are all safe and well. Now, on with the tale....
Shortly after returning from war practice I received a message telling me that it would behove me to head to the settlement. Obviously, a message like this peaked my curiosity and I headed on over. When I arrived at the home that Leggs and I share, I found it in great disarray. Of course, I share this home with an elf who can live in the woods for years on end without getting dirty, so when I say great dissarray, I mean the throw pillow on the couch was slightly off center. I immediatley began to search the settlement for Leggs.
After about twenty minutes I found several of the non separatist elvish elders who were willing to tell me what was going on. As I am sure you know already, there is a small faction of the elven leadership who are still hoping that Leggs will come to his senses and kick out all those of non elvish blood from the settlement. Apparently, they had found new energy in the shape of a new leader. Dalbit.
I had been hearing these rumors for a while, reported them, as I am required to do, to the DMES and laughed about them with Leggs. He and I are in no way conserned by these men and what they want because, when it comes right down to it, these lands which hold the settlement we part of the Grant of Arms that Leggs received for his part in the overthrow of the Dark Lord, and he has the right to have them removed whenever they become more dangerous than amusing.
Anyway, the elders told me that while we were away, Dalbit and some of his followers laid in wait at our home. When Leggs returned he was overpowered and was being held at one of the outlying building sites. They were under the impression that Leggs would be released unharmed, if I would go there and promise to remove myself and all non elves from the settlement.
Upon hearing this I headed off to the building site. There I found Leggs bound and gagged in a chair. He was, of course, impecably clean. Dalbit, as his captor, began to tell me the conditions for Leggs' release. It was very lucky that Leggs was paying very close attention to my facial expressions at this time, because at the very moment I began to laugh, he broke free of his bonds and knocked Dalbit unconsicous.
I continued to laugh for quite a while and Leggs dolled out one of his very rare smiles....this one had both sides of his mouth included! He told me that when he arrived home, he recognized Dalbit as Billingdalt aka Billy Dalton, even though he is much older now, and thought that it would be fun to let them take him prisioner until I arrived. I know it sounds like a strange thing to think of as fun, but he was right, it was.
Billy Billingdalt Dalbit Dalton has been banished once again, and the gate guards have new images of him to study so that maybe this time it will be for good. I have included the images in the DMES file so they can do the same in the White City. I don't believe that he is truly dangerous at this time, but they way Leggs keeps kicking his ass, he might get angry enough to become a serious problem.
So that ends that for now. In other news, I attended graduation ceremonies for both of the sons. Preschool and fifth grade are over. The youngest son is currently attending safety town and will graduate from it this weekend. Hopefully that will also be when he stops explaining to me the rules for driving up to a stop sign, because it is cute and also really annoying.
The sons are looking forward to the forbidden fishing trip and can't wait to see you in July, and I have to say that I am with them on that.
Give my best to the King
Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah
I am about to send off my monthly report to the Department of Middle Earth Secruity and I want to write to you at the same time as to avoid any alarm you might feel upon hearing rumors of the settlement coming out of those offices. Be assured that we are all safe and well. Now, on with the tale....
Shortly after returning from war practice I received a message telling me that it would behove me to head to the settlement. Obviously, a message like this peaked my curiosity and I headed on over. When I arrived at the home that Leggs and I share, I found it in great disarray. Of course, I share this home with an elf who can live in the woods for years on end without getting dirty, so when I say great dissarray, I mean the throw pillow on the couch was slightly off center. I immediatley began to search the settlement for Leggs.
After about twenty minutes I found several of the non separatist elvish elders who were willing to tell me what was going on. As I am sure you know already, there is a small faction of the elven leadership who are still hoping that Leggs will come to his senses and kick out all those of non elvish blood from the settlement. Apparently, they had found new energy in the shape of a new leader. Dalbit.
I had been hearing these rumors for a while, reported them, as I am required to do, to the DMES and laughed about them with Leggs. He and I are in no way conserned by these men and what they want because, when it comes right down to it, these lands which hold the settlement we part of the Grant of Arms that Leggs received for his part in the overthrow of the Dark Lord, and he has the right to have them removed whenever they become more dangerous than amusing.
Anyway, the elders told me that while we were away, Dalbit and some of his followers laid in wait at our home. When Leggs returned he was overpowered and was being held at one of the outlying building sites. They were under the impression that Leggs would be released unharmed, if I would go there and promise to remove myself and all non elves from the settlement.
Upon hearing this I headed off to the building site. There I found Leggs bound and gagged in a chair. He was, of course, impecably clean. Dalbit, as his captor, began to tell me the conditions for Leggs' release. It was very lucky that Leggs was paying very close attention to my facial expressions at this time, because at the very moment I began to laugh, he broke free of his bonds and knocked Dalbit unconsicous.
I continued to laugh for quite a while and Leggs dolled out one of his very rare smiles....this one had both sides of his mouth included! He told me that when he arrived home, he recognized Dalbit as Billingdalt aka Billy Dalton, even though he is much older now, and thought that it would be fun to let them take him prisioner until I arrived. I know it sounds like a strange thing to think of as fun, but he was right, it was.
Billy Billingdalt Dalbit Dalton has been banished once again, and the gate guards have new images of him to study so that maybe this time it will be for good. I have included the images in the DMES file so they can do the same in the White City. I don't believe that he is truly dangerous at this time, but they way Leggs keeps kicking his ass, he might get angry enough to become a serious problem.
So that ends that for now. In other news, I attended graduation ceremonies for both of the sons. Preschool and fifth grade are over. The youngest son is currently attending safety town and will graduate from it this weekend. Hopefully that will also be when he stops explaining to me the rules for driving up to a stop sign, because it is cute and also really annoying.
The sons are looking forward to the forbidden fishing trip and can't wait to see you in July, and I have to say that I am with them on that.
Give my best to the King
Your affectionate friend,
Kendrah
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Catching Up
My Dearest Kendrah,
Well, it has been quite month! Please forgive my lack of correspondence. Real world events and travel have severely impacted the amount of time I can spend in Imagination Land (as it is known in South Park).
Let's see...
First there was Beltane, and like any good Senior Druid, I volunteered to organize our auction. That venture took up most of the last week of April. The King pouted, but stayed out of my way as I organized donations, for which I am extremely grateful.
The following week I traveled to Arizona for a festival and the King tagged along. He seemed a bit disappointed that he didn't have to rescue me from a scorpion lurking in my shoe, but he seemed to enjoy himself anyway. He was quite entertained by the various storytellers who presented and got all weepy over his pipe and beer about how sad it is when people forget to pass on the lore of their ancestors.
Fast forward to War Practice which was ever so much more pleasant this year. Best weather in my memory! We didn't have to frighten the children with stories about how we would all die if the fire went out! Good friends, good food, good music. Huzzah to Gardner and his hurdy-gurdy! The King had a great time! He fought a bit, drank a bit more and even stuck around to go fishing with Lassair and the Sons. He was delighted when they caught their fish and wanted to make sure to invite them to our next picnic at Henneth Annun, as the fishing in the Forbidden Pool isn't quite so forbidden since the fall of You Know Who. I think it will be years before I could eat a fish that came from water where Gollum once swam, but that's just me...
I'm glad our PennMoot was so successful. Looks like we all have lots to do in the next two months! EEK! Two months!
Last weekend I was off to Wellspring. The King declined to join me. I think he's still freaked out by topless dancers around the fire from a few years ago. I very cleverly gave the King a copy of the Professor's latest publication, Sigurd and Gudrun, and he holed himself up in the library comparing skaldic poetry forms to the ancient texts of Numenor. I knew a good book would keep him occupied and safely out of Eowyn's...err...harm's way while I was gone.
My journeys for the moment are now ended. I plan to stay at home, reading poetry with the King, sewing and running PreCollege until it's time for Pennsic. I hope all is well with you and yours.
Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne
Well, it has been quite month! Please forgive my lack of correspondence. Real world events and travel have severely impacted the amount of time I can spend in Imagination Land (as it is known in South Park).
Let's see...
First there was Beltane, and like any good Senior Druid, I volunteered to organize our auction. That venture took up most of the last week of April. The King pouted, but stayed out of my way as I organized donations, for which I am extremely grateful.
The following week I traveled to Arizona for a festival and the King tagged along. He seemed a bit disappointed that he didn't have to rescue me from a scorpion lurking in my shoe, but he seemed to enjoy himself anyway. He was quite entertained by the various storytellers who presented and got all weepy over his pipe and beer about how sad it is when people forget to pass on the lore of their ancestors.
Fast forward to War Practice which was ever so much more pleasant this year. Best weather in my memory! We didn't have to frighten the children with stories about how we would all die if the fire went out! Good friends, good food, good music. Huzzah to Gardner and his hurdy-gurdy! The King had a great time! He fought a bit, drank a bit more and even stuck around to go fishing with Lassair and the Sons. He was delighted when they caught their fish and wanted to make sure to invite them to our next picnic at Henneth Annun, as the fishing in the Forbidden Pool isn't quite so forbidden since the fall of You Know Who. I think it will be years before I could eat a fish that came from water where Gollum once swam, but that's just me...
I'm glad our PennMoot was so successful. Looks like we all have lots to do in the next two months! EEK! Two months!
Last weekend I was off to Wellspring. The King declined to join me. I think he's still freaked out by topless dancers around the fire from a few years ago. I very cleverly gave the King a copy of the Professor's latest publication, Sigurd and Gudrun, and he holed himself up in the library comparing skaldic poetry forms to the ancient texts of Numenor. I knew a good book would keep him occupied and safely out of Eowyn's...err...harm's way while I was gone.
My journeys for the moment are now ended. I plan to stay at home, reading poetry with the King, sewing and running PreCollege until it's time for Pennsic. I hope all is well with you and yours.
Your Affectionate Friend,
Corwynne
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